me  male , ex  female , dated for 6 month
Hello everyone i don't even know where to start... so there was a girl which is my ex she was trying to get close to me at first telling me all her secrets and she was in a very deep depression , she had no confidence, misreable life and it was me who is handling all her negativity and shit
She almost begged me to get in a relationship with her and i don't why i just did it , things changed after 6 month of our relationship she had a new girlfriend which is a bad girl and they started to be best friends suddenly my ex started to treat me like shit, avoiding me , not answering my texts blah blah blah , then one day out of the blue she dumped me for no reason
im a good looking guy that was really confident , happy , positive , turned into weak , needy and a clingy guy i begged her many times to give me another chance acted needy she started treating me like shit and i accepted it ( i dont know how i lost my mind ) then one day she told me the reason we are never getting back together because im weak and i will never be able to protect her and ended up saying im not a man just a b**** ( she lost respect to me for accepting the way she treated me and for begging )
im really ashamed of myself and i can't get through the pain of how weak i was and the words she said are always in my head actually my life is ruined for 4 months and still im not getting any better and she is making me as ajoke around everyone in college telling people she dumped me for being a child and making fun of how i treated her nicely when she was treating me like dirt my confidence is down i can't feel happiness anymore
i treated her and she poisoned me i swear i loved her , treated her like princess, was always there for her , never mistreated her once , and this is what i get , please i need advice we broke up 6 month ago and my life is getting worse and worse
my ex completely ruined me mentally and im feeling im just a loser and i hate mylife
Most Helpful Girl
1. I'm sorry that happened to you.
2. Don't always listen to what exes say when they break up. Sometimes they're being mean and vengeful, they just say things to make you hurt.
3. I've known guys who treat their girlfriends the way you treated her, the ones who apologize they can't meet up later because they are going to spend some time with their girlfriend, and my response to them is always, you never have to apologize for being a good boyfriend. You didn't do wrong, she did.
4. Likely the reason you feel like shit is because you really cared for her, so her opinion really mattered to you, and so her hurtful words cut so much deeper than words from anyone else. Do remind yourself that she is no longer the person you first met, she's a hurtful and mean person, likely trying to put you down to make herself feel better. Her words are lies. You aren't a loser.
5. Work on building up your confidence again. Every morning, look yourself in the mirror, stand up straight, dress nicely, and then tell yourself, "I deserve love.", "I am a good person.", and then list one thing about yourself that you did well (my hair is AMAZING today, or I did a really great job on that hw assignment, I made THE BEST tasting pasta last night, etc.). And do it everyday. You'll find that after a while of doing this, you will regain your confidence.
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, I know you won't, but I will state it anyway.
Don't stoop to her level by trying to get back at her, it just fuels the fire.
Having that out of the way, what you feel is normal for most guys on the receiving end of a break up, especially when the relationship actually meant something to you.
Healing takes a while, for some months, others years. I'm honestly part of the latter, so trust me when I say that it does get better, even though it doesn't happen immediately.
From what you're saying, your ex sounds like she's bipolar and a little bit unstable.
She forced you into a relationship you didn't really want to begin with and once you've grown accustomed to it by actually treating her as a boyfriend should, she turns around and condemns you for it with verbal abuse.
I understand that it doesn't sound as great coming from another guy, but you really are better off without her and there are loads of other women out there that are looking for guys with your kinds of qualities.
Plus, if she didn't dump you, it could've gotten worse, mentally and possibly physically.
And lastly, don't worry about the people in your college. You're in a negative mindset now, so you can't see it, but not everyone is on her side. There are some people there that see she's the child for spreading rumors about you after a break up, no adult in their right mind would do that.
You're a strong person, you'll get through this in time and slowly gain your confidence back for sure.
Just try to concentrate on activities that appeal to you, help take your mind off of it.
Video Games, hiking, model building, swimming, etc. Take this downtime as an opportunity to treat and better yourself.