What the heck is going on? I'm so confused?

Long story short

My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. Before we broke up, I told her that I love her. I believe that scared her a lot which caused the break up. Which she has now essentially admitted to that being the reason. I told her I wanted to fight for this to work but asked if I should fight or stop, she said she didn't know.

Last week her and I talked in person (after she blew it off twice) because I was getting some of my things back from her. I asked her what she meant when she said she didn't know, she responded with that it wasn't worth it. After we talked a bit more I got up and gave her something of mine she wanted, which contained a note that I wrote thinking the conversation was going to be different, and I left her house.
About an hour or so after I left her house she had text me saying she read the note. That it made her cry, she was sorry for how she was acting, that she thinks we are worth fighting for, etc etc. She asked if I wanted to talk in person again, to which I agreed to. Since then her and I have been talking a bit here and there. Asking how each other day is going and such. We agreed to talk in person yesterday, and she seemed really enthusiastic about it. She went out hiking yesterday and it took her all day. She had text me saying she was out there and it was taking longer than normal and that she still wanted to talk.
She didn't finish till around 9 last and let me know She was on her way home. Told me how the hike was, and I said I hope she had fun and that I guess we weren't talking in person.
Since then, nothing. No hey let's try and talk another day. Nothing.

I do not understand what's going on, what she's thinking, but I'm tired of being messed with like this. I don't know what to do at this point.
What's going on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The break up is very raw, it has been two weeks, which is such a sort amount of time. And in my opinion has really been time for you two to maybe get your heads around it. Some people, girls and guys, get really frightened when the L bomb is dropped and thus causing them to 'push themselves away'. This isn't necessarily a bad thing at all, this just means that she maybe wasn't prepared to hear it just yet, maybe she has had a bad experience with guys in the past. From what I can make of the situation, she sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, she is giving you hot and cold signals, it is like she wants to spend time with you and be with you. But then the little trigger goes off in her head and she might either remember a bad experience with a guy in the past or the thought of commitment and reality scares her. Us girls are very confusing and never say how we are feeling for real, out loud. Thus confusing the guy massively. You maybe need to sit her down once and for all and have it our with her about how this is making you feel, it sounds as though she feels she can just contact you when she feels like it and you'll be there for you. There are two lots of feelings in this relationship and it isn't fair for you to be confused. If you want to make things work with her, tell her how you feel, ask her what is going on and that you are feeling like you are being messed about.
    Good Luck, and I hoped this helped a little :)

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    • I don't know if I should even do that. I don't know what to do other than to just not talk to her now and let her talk.
      I don't get it, when she was hiking she told me she wishes I was there. Not a word has been said since last night.

    • Girls are just as stubborn as guys sometimes, and it sounds to me like she is hiding away from her feelings. Girls are good at doing that and making the guy run to them. Don't let her make you feel like you have to put all of the effort into this relationship, it isn't fair. You are just as entitled to tell her your feelings, if you don't feel comfortable speaking to her or asking her what is going on. Leave her have her time for a bit, girls often run back a lot sooner than men because they start to notice that you're not actually giving them attention

    • She text me last night asking if I wanted to go hiking and talk and that she's sorry we didn't talk in person Monday and that she really badly wanted to. I'm not sure what to say

Most Helpful Guy

  • the break up just happened recently. stop fighting for it. the more you fight the more girls get resilient and find you less attractive. trust me. it will give more chances for you to get messed up rather than patching up. i know most of the guys dont take this opinion and they gk with their heart. but they might give in and end it again. best way stop talking to her. stop all th communication. avoid her give it time to sink in for both of you. you will see things working out gradually. but j tell you its not easy. you will have the urge to talk again and again and fight for it. trust me it will make you away from each other. better to give some space and time.

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    • She's being so confusing man. I wanted to fight for it so I told her, and I was giving her space. She said she didn't think it was worth it and I was ready to be done. Then she said she wanted to talk and is sending mixed signals. She's been all "I wish you were here hiking with me"
      But still, not a word from her today.
      I'm gonna have to cut off communication. The ball is in her court.

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    • take your time. dont make her rush. if its for good things will go fine. go with your guts. all the best

    • I don't think I'm asking her to rush. She's blown off talking 3 times now. If she doesn't pick a day then she doesn't and I'll know.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you deserve this. I feel that she has some baggage and is having a hard time letting you in. I don't think she's into the relationship as much as you are. I was in a relationship where he would tell me he didn't love me and then he would come back to me to me to fix things. He fucked up with my head. I was about to go insane. We were on and off for like 2 years because he couldn't make up his mind, in the end he dumped me because he needed to "find himself" "wasn't ready for a relationship" 2 months later he was already dating another girl... my advice is to let her go until she makes up her mind. You seem like a nice guy, don't let her treat you as an option. If she doesn't love you then she should be honest with you and stop playing games

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What Guys Said 1

  • This is the exercise of putting you in the friend zone. Either cut all contact or try to clear this shit test.
    honestly she is not going to make any effort.

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