She wants to stay in contact with her exes?

my partner has all of her ex's numbers on her phone and facebook 'just in case she needs to contact them' she says. A lot of her ex's were usually one nighters and part of a group of friends. Not long after we got together an ex (not part of a group) started to contact her and they met up a couple of times (her staying over his), another time being when she was supposed to be out with her girlfriends but met him as she had some issues from the past that needed sorting and spent hours during the night with him. I thought things were sorted then months later she suddenly announced that she wanted him in her life to meet up with and go out together. it caused massive arguments and eventually she said that she would only text or call him. As a compromise I agreed. She then decided that he wasn't worth it and would have no contact. Since things have been great, she got down on one knee, told me how much she loved me and proposed. loving her so much I excepted and we said that we would let our friends know. She came home yesterday after work and announced that she had text another ex whom she hadn't seen for 2yrs or had any contact for over a year. He replied back and knowing that I wasn't happy continued to text him that night. She said that it had taken a year to get over him and she would like to be friends and of all her ex's she would like him at the wedding. Am I being irrational for not liking the situation she puts us in or should I let her get on with it? What about her other ex's? She says that I am being controlling and turning her friends away


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Most Helpful Girl

  • NO NO NO she should not be keeping in contact with her exs if she wants to be with you she doesn't need tooo...she is fulll of sh*t how are you gona to start a life with someone that is still playing little kid games wives don't go around meeting up with "Exs" and spending nights together with them and the fact that your letting her get away with it is crazy? And this so called new guy could be the same guy she was spending all that time...i know and you know she has probably cheated on you ...and did you ever once think maybe I should look through her phone? I know some people see this as not resepecting the person but if they are hiding things and are not respecting you, you are just trying to protect yourself...i say put your foot down and telll her that she needs to cut every old flame lose if she wants to spend the rest of her life with you...and also find out if she cheated because that's another reason to add, be strong if she doesn't care enough to change and or try to get you back the REAL way then eff her! leave her with her texts and midnight get togethers with other men.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Now, while I feel that it is one thing for a new boyfriend/lover to come into a girls life and want her to stop all contact with her male friends. I really have a problem with the girl having constant contact with the ex's. I feel that if it makes you feel uncomfortable then it is her duty to cease the activity immediately, that is not too much to ask. If she wants to be out consoling and confiding in her ex then she should do that while being single not while in a current relationship with someone that she is suppose to love and respect. Watch out and be careful because I would not trust her as far as I could throw her...Just telling the truth! Good Luck! Ty-lady!

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  • She clearly doesn't understand this:

    If you can be friends with an ex, you were either never in love with them or still are.

    Honestly I think it is very unfair what she is putting you through. Who wants to stress about their partner wanting to be good friends with an ex? I definately wouldnt. Ask her why she feels the need to keep old flames in her life when they obviously broke up for a reason. And if they are just friends now that's all they would have ever been, but clearly they werent. She is being naive to think that an ex contacted her after this amount of time to just want a friendship. Who would bother? I would talk to her and tell her your not comfortable, and that you don't like that she is putting you in situations where you feel uncomfortable. If she doesn't listen, give her a taste of her own medicine, and let her know that's what your doing. I'm sure she won't like the stress of being in your shoes. Good luck x

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're not irrational, it's selfish of her to want him at the wedding regardless of knowing your feelings on the matter.

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  • just leave her man she's not in the same place as you.

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