Please help translate this email...
My boyfriend of almost 5 years broke up with me over the phone before deploying overseas. 4 months later I received this email. What does it mean? Does he want to be friends or is it just an apology? Is there a hidden meaning behind the email? We have had absolutely no contact since the breakup. The relationship ended very abruptly and I keep thinking this is his way of getting closure. Or maybe he is just bored overseas and needs a pen pal. What would be the point of remaining friends with him if the relationship is over? I would consider replying if there was a chance that we could work things out, but I don't gather that from this email. I really appreciate any feedback because I was finally getting over the relationship until this email took me by surprise.
I debated writing you for a long time. You were my best friend for about 5 years of my life. I had written a lot of things down but really I'm sure you don't want to hear them. All I can honestly say is that I am truly sorry, I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I know you probably hate me and I will never hear from you again but I had to tell you that. All I want is you to be happy, be loved and smile. You're a smart woman and I know you deserve those things in life and I was only dragging you down. I'm sure you already feel this way but I think I needed to tell you anyways. If I had been capable of doing it I would have loved to. You are a good woman.
Most Helpful Guy
This letter is an excellent example. Look closely at the form of the first 3 sentences: they all talk about a wavering back and forth of ideas and emotions over a period of time. Debated - long time, best friend - 5 years, wrote things down, they didn't pass muster. This is a very macho, very high testosterone guy with a very manly view of himself and the world.
He feels that you and he are highly polar: that he's very masculine and you're very feminine. He feels that this wide gulf that separates you two can't be bridged, and it's tragic that he can't do more for you because he admires you so much. His period of dwelling on this is over and this letter is the result of his inner mulling.
You should feel flattered that you meant so much to him that he thought about you so often, you could thank him for that. But he knows it's over, his guilt has evolved into a recognition of the tragedy of your story together, he was only so much to blame and the rest was cruel fate. He's hoping that the failure that you 2 experienced will educate you and propel you towards happiness, because he admires you and wishes you the best. He didn't talk to you for all those years, but his mind talked about you hundreds of times, he felt he owed you this.5