So my ex boyfriend has started speaking to me again, and wants to hang out? He has a girlfriend.

My first love and I broke up nearly a year ago for several reasons; he slipped into a hard-partying/alcohol drinking/pot smoking mode and things changed. We started fighting all the time about dumb stuff, and he knew I didn't like what he was doing (drinking a lot and such). He was also under a lot of pressure from his parents because he was starting to apply to colleges that fall, and I am a year younger so I wasn't.

Things have since moved on since the break up, I feel like I am in a really good place in my life, I have a great job, good friends, about to be a senior in high school (woohoo!). My ex has since gotten another girlfriend, they have been dating for about 2 months. Recently, he started texting me; before, when we spoke, I was always the one to initiate contact (trust me I made a LOT of post-breakup no-no's) but this time he did it. He was asking me all about my job and life and such, and suggested we go out for lunch sometime next week.

I really don't know why he all the sudden wants to get together, but I have several theories: 1) During our relationship, we were sexually active. I don't know if he is sleeping with her, but the odds are no. Perhaps he wants a romp in the hay? Haha. 2) He is insecure and nervous about leaving for college. 3) He genuinely wants to catch up and chit chat and be friends. Cool, I can take it or leave it.

Any opinions, comments are welcome. I just don't understand this boy at all.


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  • In my opinion, it seems as if you're better off without him. He may want to genuinely want to catch up, and hang out, but he does have a girlfriend, I'd be wary of that, and make sure that she is aware, because things like that might bother her. Who understands boys anyway? They're so complicated. <3

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  • well who knows what does he really want. He might not getting something from his girlfriend right now so he's out looking for it. (could be attention, sex, compliments... something that will stroke his ego.) Ask yourself, are you really over him? If not, then I think you should not meet with him right away, tell him you're busy. It's OK to talk to him as friends but always let him do the first move. In that way, he won't think that he still has power over you...cuz you'll never know, he probably just want some attention and if you give in he might use you.

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