Is this considered cheating?

Okay, so I've known about my STBEW and her boss have been flirting with each other before our separation. After she left to be on her own and for us to work on our marriage her mother told me she noticed they were flirting at work as well.

Anyways, she told me she was thinking about just getting a divorce, but she would randomly call me saying she missed talking to me and would come to my house to work on things with our marriage and the kids.

I found out she had been dating her boss during all of this. When I exposed her from the messages I saw and pictures. She is now telling me because she said she was thinking of the divorce that it was okay, but a lot of this stuff happened before she gave me the papers.

Is this considered cheating?


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  • If you are asking in the context of the law then you would need to look up in your state what those parameters would be. However, I do know there are several states that are "No Fault" meaning evidence or testimony of infidelity can't be brought into the proceedings and won't have bearing on the actual proceedings. So if you live in one of those states then you'd be hard pressed to utilize her behavior in terms of custody arrangements and alimony.
    In any cade, emotionally she is absolutely cheating. Even if she was to the point of divorce already it doesn't magically negate your marriage.

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  • Yes definitely. If they were dating before you got divorced then yes its cheating.

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