Is it normal to become less attracted to your partner over time?

Been feeling this lately. Just wanted to know it this is normal or has happened to you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was with my wife 25 years and 4 days. I have known her since Jan 10, 1989. I find her as amazingly beautiful today as the first day I saw her walk out of her house. So no, I don't think that it is normal in any way. When your in a long term relationship, the intensity of your relationship evens out and has up and downs. It does not stay the same as the "honeymoon" period...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It happens, but it's never normal. There is something really wrong if you lost attraction to who you're with. I'm not talking about sexual wise outside of marriage because I personally don't agree with it. Marriage is a whole different story. But if you are having so much of an issue then this is something you need to question. Your relationship shouldn't be based on feelings and emotions. That's number 1. Number 2, if your relationship started out of lust, that is a sign that breakup is imminent because you can't love a person without lusting for their body, according to you. That should never have to be. Your relationship should be based on love that you are willing to provide and give that person. You should love them for their personality, not their looks. Obviously, if you didn't like how they look then why are you with them? That shouldn't be important if this is that. If your that contemplative, then you need to have a sit down with that person and talk to them. See where they feel the relationship is going. Getting stronger, neutral, or falling apart? If you can't talk it out peacefully, then it's best to say it's over. Relationships shouldn't have to be where you give up over silly things if it's petty. You should still always communicate with your partner about these things. That's what they are there for.

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    • Again, remember people who lust after they are looking or are already with often lose attraction 200% faster IMHO than people who always loved them but felt something is off about the relationship. That's why you have to get into a relationship for all the right reasons.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 32

  • Yes. There ate highs and lows in most relationships. Many guyd cheat and desire sex with other women because its different. With a long term partner the sex csn be good, you can love them, but the same thing after 2 years gets boring unless you hold out.

    Its like this. Chocolate chip may be your favorite ice cream. But every day for 2 years? You want a new flavor. Not because you love the other flavore or even like it... because its different.

    Couples if sex is getting boring, agree to a one month celibacy pledge. Set a date to have wild sex and the fire will return.

    All the other stuff is about the personal part of a relationship. Thats a deeper discussion of what to work out.

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  • i don't know if it's normal. i mean humans tend to get less physically attractive as the age so i guess i wouldn't be hard to believe that partners are less physically attractive to each other but attraction outside of phsyical attraction i'd imagine that in happy relationships the level of attraction stays the same or grows

    so it's certainly a reality that some become less attractive.

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  • Every relationship has its own uniqueness.

    But I think what you may be referring, is sometimes a marriage to become a little stale.

    The best way to handle circumstances when they are a bit stale is to rediscover mutual wants, interests and goals,, but also focus on spicing things up.

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  • I think those things fluctuate but if it's really low then maybe you should communicate any issues with your partner that you may have. I think there is usually something in the relationship that drives that.

    Of course the honeymoon phase always ends at some point.

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  • It happens. However is it normal? I can't answer that. People are different.

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  • Physically attractive, or all round attractive?

    If there's nothing drawing you together, maybe it's time to move on?

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  • Classic hypergamy.

    Yes, for women this is common. If your man isn't upping his game you'll grow increasing bored, shut down sexually, bail or cheat, or any combination of these.

    Talk to him about your feelings - you two need some help with the spark and passion in your relationship.

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  • yeah people forget to court each other, comfortable shoes get old and thrown out, gotta polish and take of them

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  • This is normal, because we become less attractive as we age. This is why people who are shallow and merely go for looks and sexual attraction in a partner, end up thinking the way you do.

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  • That looks like daenerys

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  • Sure I think it's possible. I think all long term relationships take work. You need to constantly keep it interesting especially in the bed room

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  • Normal but not the desirable outcome we want... you want to more attracted and yes that does happen...

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  • You only ever lose interest at the fault of your own. girls do this like... alllllot.

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  • It's never out of the question. As long as she has the same qualities she had before you two started dating, you can still be attracted to her.

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  • It's not natural to feel that way but if there is a time where you and your partner had that initial spark, you and your partner should do what it all started

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  • It should not be this way, you should always feel love for your significant other.

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    • There's a difference between love and attraction though.

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    • @babylips14 thanks for elaborating, i could not find the words to explain myself so well.

    • @ElissaDido sorry i am talking to someone already

  • Yes it is
    As long as it's not true love (like the old school) any human being is bound to get bored of his/her partner if he or she was just looking for blind company or meaningless sex.
    So just move on before you make things worse.

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  • No. unless he/she discontinues to take care of one's self and/or if their attitude has taken a wrong turn. Has he changed physically or personality wise?

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  • No, that's not normal or healthy.

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  • it happens as people get older they change

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  • I hope not... that's exactly what scares me about marriage or super-long-term or whatever.

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  • What do you lack.. mental satisfaction or physical satisfaction?

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  • Actually attraction not remain forever. It is a virtual thing. When we are in relationship then attraction not matter too much and no need this type of waste activity while already a strong relationship. love is not compel of attraction.

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  • Yes, it is normal.

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  • Yes, and it's inevitable. It's biology, there's nothing you can do about it.

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  • depends

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  • Completely normal.
    Used to get a boner every time I saw her wear a different sexy outfit. But then after a while she had to do something sexy to get me started. Like come out of the shower and "accidentally" drop her towel.
    It's like starting a new job. At first you are nervous, then you get used to it.

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  • ❌❌❌I think it's very common for girls to just lose attraction. After all they initiate 70% of divorces and are always the ones complaining in a marriage.

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    • Riiiight. Guys just complain about girls they've never even met in real life... anonymously. What a brave little soul you are.

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    • I could bloody care less... your an ass

    • You've said you have done with talking but you keep replying so I think you do care.

  • lmao that braid

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  • A change in attraction will be the result of change

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 26

  • It's normal for some of the crazy electricity between you to die down a little. There will always be more sparks at the beginning of the relationship when things are brand new and exciting. But the attraction should still be there. If it's not, there may be a problem.

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  • you must learn what true seduction is. and i don't mean to seduce him. you have been seduced by a false lover- one created in your own mind. that is why you lose attraction over time. because the real lover can never live up to the one you seduced yourself with. love is a decision as much as a feeling. decide to put him first. decide to investigate him- instead of waiting to see how his actions make you feel. don't be content to just talk about the mundane issues of his day. how was work, drive home, the ball game, etc. guys constantly complain that women are shallow and vapid, always talking about the latest gossip or other stupid things. sure there's things that interest us but if you try to talk with him or do things with him that interest him you may find that silly thing he's doing in the garage is actually neat. and when you want to hang out with him while he's doing his thing over time you will connect on a different level. he will desire you, and his desire will arouse you in turn. i was with a man once who was doing remodeling work on his house. he was working and i was helping him here and there- talking together. then something just happened. the conversation stopped and our eyes locked... and we were all over each other. sawdust and tools literally flying everywhere.

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  • There is no universal 'normal'. That's something that differs with each individual/culture/society, etc..

    As for myself- no. I haven't become less attracted to my partner over time. If anything, I became more attracted to him in basically every aspect.

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  • I think attraction and romantic interests ebb and flow with relationships. That's why communicating and trying to keep things fresh is important. If you feel the relationship is just downhill, then communication is even more important... if you're even interested in making that relationship better of course.

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  • ii think overtime your partner should become more attractive not less. when you love them you find things they do more attractive

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  • From psychological view it is not alright. When we love somebody and we want to spend time with them we find them most attractive for us and also their smell is for us the most beautiful. If physical and psychical attraction fades and their smell is not as pleasant as it was before that only means separation will happen... most likely.

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  • If you mean, you don't want to constantly have sex with them, it just means the honeymoon phase is over. And that's normal. They became part of your regular life.
    If you mean they turn you off and you're not excited to meet them. Then you should think whether its a phase or the relationship is not right for you.

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  • I don't think so unless something bad happened. I get less attracted to someone who hurts me, no matter how good looking. Also something they did could make you look at them differently, this is why many part ways after a bad fight or so.

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  • Gotta water a plant to not let it whither...

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  • I am more attracted over time

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  • I believe it's natural to an extent. Sometimes there are moments when you may be more attracted than others and this can happen a few times. If you think you are losing the attraction perhaps see if there is something you could do that might make it go up again.

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  • When you realize that they weren't who you thought they were...

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  • I am getting to where my husband doesn't turn me like he used to but I feel its because he is not open to trying new things and I am tired of the same old stuff.

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  • Of course it is lol

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  • I don't know if it's normal but it happens.
    Maybe it means another stage of relationship, maybe the begging of the end of it.

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  • My so and I have been dating fore 2 years now and I love him more and more everyday

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    • Thank you!!! I can't believe so many people on here actually think that time destroys attraction smh.

  • Yes. Attraction changes over the course of a relationship.

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  • No not really. If you love each other , the attraction will always remain

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  • Wuh-oh, reverse nighting gale syndrome alert.

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  • i don't think so, doesn't happen with my partner and i

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  • yes is normal, sometime you change your ind and style..

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  • yes it's normal. when you first get into a relationship, you'll view your partner as 1000/10 for attraction. but after time, it may get down to a lower and lower number overtime because you're used to seeing them all the time (especially if you live together). but as long as you don't lose complete physical, mental, and sexual attraction to them, i'd say it's normal or else you've lost your connection if you've lost all those completely

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    • It may be "normal", but that's a sign of someone falling out of love as love is what ignites attraction. Lots of married couples who have been married for 20+ still find their spouses to be the most beautiful individuals in the world. I could never get tired of staring at someone I'm in love with even if time has elapsed. Time does not destroy attraction, just like it doesn't destroy love.

  • You're not in love anymore. end the relationship before you hurt this other person.

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  • Yes has happened to me, but only happened because we did the same thing over and over. Need a bitta spice, maybe do something with them that's completely random but you know you both would enjoy it, like it would help remind you why you were attracted to them in the first place? Hope that helps?

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  • Yeah you have ur feelings at the top n ypu may lose these feelings n intrest by time. one they you may even not have any left.

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  • no, it shouldn't happen... did you meet anyone else?

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