Is it a mistake not to see my ex before I go abroad?

I'm leaving to study in Europe for 6 months in a week. My ex and I reconnected in January, it was on and off but with good parts too - in the end he was the same, emotionally abusive, on and off alcoholic, unreliable, selfish. Of course there are things that make me still love him, but in general it was not a healthy relationship for me.

Last week he blew me off after a great month together to get drunk (his addiction) and ignored me completely for days so I told him I'm done, I can not see you before I go abroad (for my own health and growth). I know deep down he sets me back and is unhealthy for my self-love, but I am still in love with him. I'm worried I will regret it if I do not see him before I leave, because I'm sure I will never see him again. We haven't talked for a week - he messaged me to ask for all his gifts back (also unhealthy). I know what he did is a pretty solid "end" to our relationship, especially how he's acting now. How can I really let go if I don't know if i'm making a mistake? I feel like I'm leaving the country while still being in love with someone, and I always want to see him, but he is bad enough for me that I feel I'm forced to not see him. What should I do?
Is it a mistake not to see my ex before I go abroad?
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