I did Many things that was wrong because I was insecure, I don't want to blame her. but she wasn't at all affection which, I kept questioning do she still love me because if it. and when I voice up and show anger, she would get angry back. and say why I not try to understand her situation. she is in another country and says too busy for voice call or video call for 2 months no time, I know there is Time distance but I don't mind being the one staying up late just to see her. but nothing or don't want to compromise.
I did do something really bad which I totally forgot. she was very unhappy and normally she would not speak up about things when unhappy, but that time I really wanted to care so I kept on asking, and she just got more angry, ending saying she's not comming back to the country and hated her country. she never said anything bad about her country before, so I panicked on top of the she not comming back, so I was in red alert mode, under pressure I tried to find contact of her friend while she was in uk, a girl that she knew and I knew too but not well, what I know is i know she will tell certain things to her. so I wanted to know what's wrong and also ask if she can care for her. they both in same country and times zones. while me here I can't do anything. and I know no girl would like that stuff so I said her friend not to mention me. (ofcourse she mentioned me I didn't know). so some time later, she was kinda ok again and I totally forgot I did this, like totally... but after this things got colder and colder, I would show affection but none reply, I try to ask why etc... but always angry texts back. it got to a point where I became clingy and she needed time not untill break up, mentioned the incident saying I would lie forever.
I would not contact my ex because I really dissapointed her and the break up discussion was 4 days she need space. suddenly we got the time talk which was made me happy but content was painful, I don't blame her for anything just dissapointed why she never saw things in my perspective. she was cheated by 2 ex's before. I was too happy i finally got relationship I got careless should be more patient.