My girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me twice, I just can't get over it. :(?

I've been dating her for past 5 years, she cheated on me last year,, (which i found out) in reaction to which she literally cuts her wrist cries for 2 months straight and was extremely guilty about what she did.

Considering she loves me but made a mistake i hugged her forgave her and we both promised to live happily ever after.

Last months she again cheated on me i found it and brokeup with her, she said she didn't want this relationship she needs freedom etc etc. I returned all of her gifts that she gave me i was broken (litterally and showed it i front of her!) she is guilty (because she knows how much i love her) but doesnot wants a relationship back. I just can't get over what happened. May be i loved too much and gave a lot for this relationship

Just wnt to know :

-wht is going on in her mind
- what options do i have.
-how to get over with the depression and trauma im dealimg from past 10 days.

I just:
-cant eat - can't study - can't work - just keep on flashing memories in my mind and get depressed 24*7

Need help :(
My girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me twice, I just can't get over it. :(?
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