I got what I wanted but I didn't satisfy?

I lost feeling for her long ago. But still care for her. I wanna break up with her so little by little, I kept my distance with her. In recent days, we fought hard and today she broke up with me for real. I should be happy ofcause I got what I wanted, right? But instead I cried so hard and also, my heart is broken right now. I don't know why and I don't understand myself. Should I reconnect with her or live by myself? Advice me.
I got what I wanted but I didn't satisfy?
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