He is still in love with his ex.

He's one of my friends. We slept together but he is still in love with his ex. How can I change the situation? How to act or what to say in order to make him realize his ex is an ex for a reason, and I could be a better catch if he'd let me a chance (without begging).


Most Helpful Girl

  • Love is tricky, darlin... BUT... this is what I would do, If I were in your situation. Tell him that as a friend, you understand needing to get laid. But as someone who cares about him, it means more than an orgasm. Tell him that you've been there for him, and he can trust you. Tell him that he needs to get his head straight, and figure out why they didn't work. make sure he understands that you're telling him this not only as a friend who doesn't want him to get hurt again, as an outsider looking in, and seeing problems... and also as a person who wants to see him happy.

    Don't set YOURSELF up for disaster, either though. He needs to get his head straight, and you need to make sure that you're not a rebound. Give him time, and make sure he understands where you're coming from. But also understand that sometimes boys are blind, and they're very loyal, and if he's still inlove with her, you may have to wait until she's a major bitch for him to remember why they didn't work. Realize that you've always been there. and then get his ass out of there.

    Unfortunately everything doesn't always work out like the movies, but I sincerly hope everything works for you. :]

    • Thanks :) i,ll try to be the friend, hope it does work my way :) I don't want to be a bitch, but I just can't see why he keeps going back to her if they're not happy together. anyways can't force things so I'll just play nice

    • Once again, guys are stupid. Truly, they should only be used in mating ;]]

      You sound like an awesome girl, so don't even worry about it. Set things up so that he's not oblivious to your feelings, but keep yourself at a distance.. its never any fun being the doormat.

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  • There's nothing you can do, but give him time, and don't be so willing to "give" yourself to him, until it's obvious his baggage is done. It's too bad you slept with him already, but just next time, tell him you'd rather wait and...tell him why. Then just be there for him.

  • I'm going to be honest with you and say that it's not worth chasing a man who is still in love with his ex. You can tell him and show him that you're "better" or even show him her flaws for an alternative - but love is an emotion that is hard to control when it's not your own.

    You can try telling him that you care for him and other tactics that you think might work, and I'm sure you'll get a lot of advice from women in the same boat on this site - however, I would say to keep your options open (it's hard, I know) and wait for him to decide if he's over her.

    Even if you get him, if he still loves her - he cannot love you the way you will probably want to be loved. Don't sell yourself short just yet.


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