Any reason why we shouldn't have an affair?

I know this guy is married, we like each other and I don't see why we can't have a physical relationship. I know he's not going to leave his wife, I wouldn't want him too because that's not what I want, others may say that I have no self respect and he doesn't respect or love me if we did. My view sometimes in life we should do things to fulfill our desires and not worry about moral obligations when it comes to sex? Please share your honest opinion on my situation.

Updates:
I wish a guy would comment on my answer.
Come on guys there must be some of you that would enjoy having a bit if fun?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I, myself, have my own set of standards I follow due to my own personal experiences. My philosophy in life revolves around "Treat others as you want to be treated". Being on both sides of the cheating spectrum - I became ashamed of my prior actions when confronted with the emotional wreckage that comes with being cheated on. I wouldn't do it again because I personally know how much it hurts the unknown party. But that was only learned because I experienced it - not because others told me it was wrong.

    You have every right to have whatever experiences you choose to - even if it hurts others. But in doing so, you also must accept the responsibility of your actions. Those consequences would be yours to bear. Although there is a man involved just as culpable for his actions - they are not entwined with your decisions; you own your choices. In turn, you cannot be judgmental if those same actions are against yourself - I feel you forfeit those rights when you made the same choices in the past.

    Cheating hurts. That's the bottom line. I don't think it's a moral obligation but an integral obligation to avoid causing unnecessary pain to someone innocent.

    Like I've said, I've been across the line and back and even now feel my moral platitudes ring false. Once you've made the decision to jeopardize an innocent's life - there is no recourse for that betrayal.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • You really have to look at it in another person's shoes. HE may not leave her but she may leave him. What he would be doing is completely killing trust. If he thinks marriage has any kind of meaning and he really takes the vows to heart, he wouldn't be doing this.

    Sure it would be fun and exciting, but if it were me, I would NEVER risk what I would have with my wife for sex. It's just stupid.

    As far as you doing it, you have less to be responsible for. You won't have to deal with someone breaking up with you. A big point is that you don't know the wife. She's not your friend, sibling, cousin or anything so you won't be hurting anyone you know.

    So it comes down to: Do you care what will happen to this guy and how a wife would feel?

    Or can you have relations and only care about what happens to you?

    Choose wisely:)

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  • You lack and respect for his marriage, and only care about your needs. You don't share the same responsibilities, only looking at your own care free life to judge a monogamous relationship.

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    • True perhaps I don't care what consequences he would have to face, however if he is willing to run the risk, surely he can't have respect for his own marriage so why should I let it affect my conscious? I'm not in love or emotionally attached and never would be with him...I am very carefree so what's the big deal? Thanx for the reply.

  • i say go for it. you only live once and if he is willing to do this then there are more issues in his marriage than just you. if you don't care if he leaves you one day for another affair or to go back to his wife then have all the fun you want.

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  • Use the golden rule, and put yourself in his wife position...

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What Girls Said 5

  • You shouldn't have an affair because he's married, he's not going to leave his wife, and you're own desires aren't worth him losing his marriage. Stop being a selfish whore and sleep with a guy that's not married, there's tons of them. You can fulfill your desires without ruining someone else's marriage.

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  • Maybe because you'll go to hell ?

    Or maybe because you could become a home wrecker?

    above response = honest opinion.

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    • I don't believe in hell...I agree that I would become a home wrecker however the blame should be 50/50 he would be a part of it just as much as me!!!

    • Well if you don't believe in hell, than what's the worst that could happen? Go ahead and ruin this girl that's married to this man's life. I just hope you'll burn in flames in some different way than "hell."

      No offense.

    • Ha ha he and I might burn in flames together when his wife finds out lol.

  • I know you may not want just be physical but if his finds out... It won't be so much fun yikes!

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  • Bullsh*t. You may have self respect, but you obviously don't have respect for his wife or his relationship. That's someone's marriage. Someone's life, and you're totally OK with getting right in the middle and possibly ruining it?

    I am a firm believer that you don't have to be in love or even in a relationship to have sex. I think sex is fun and should be enjoyed. But not at the expense of someone else.. that "moral obligation" as you put it has nothing to do with sex.. it has to do with plain respect for other people.

    What would you do if you were married, your husband cheated, and then said, "I don't see why I couldn't have a physical relationship with someone else?"

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    • Truthfully if I was married and my husband did that to me I would have him out if the house so fast that he wouldn't know what's hit him, in this situation it's not my husband and yeah I agree with your point about not having to be in love to have sex, if he's not worried about his wife or her finding out why should I care...she's a stranger to me!!

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    • She's a person but still a stranger to me I'm not out to launch a personal attack on her and hurt her, in fact the I tend not to think about her because I have no need to. If anyone he should worry about her...no we don't talk about her and he hasn't said anything nasty about her, however he's been married a long time it's pretty obvious she doesn't do the things that he wants in you know what dept!! As the situation stands we haven't done anything I'm not 100% as I have mixed feeling!!!

    • Yes, you do have a reason to think about her because like I said, that's someone's marriage and life you could be ruining. Knowingly ruining. My fault, I mean, if you can sleep at night do what you do. I just personally couldn't.

      And really, I'd just say find someone else and avoid the situation.. If it's just a physical thing someone else should suffice..

  • I do not agree with this. You should never sacrifice your morals or values for physical temptations. It shows the individual is weak, and not respectable. Fulfilling such desires can be extremely damaging.

    My view is that sex should not be so casual. Call me old school, but I feel like it's letting someone into your world to explore your most intimate, personal space.

    Now, with that said, this guy is married. Messing with a married man is a whole different topic of discussion. Bottom line: NOT OKAY.

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    • Thanx for your reply, however morals and values are beliefs put into our heads by others that have decided what is right and what is wrong, however if we are both adults and both know how the situation stands than I don't understand why we can't have some fun. I don't have anything to loose and if he was stupid enough to get caught than he would. I appreciate your response I hope that I'm not in a minority with my free thoughts and speech!!

    • Well hopefully he is smart enough to not sacrifice what he has to fulfill your selfish desires.

    • This is the problem he's not smart enough, infact he wants me so bad that he is doing everything possible so that I agree...I can tell he doesn't want me to reject him!!

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