Can I win my ex back?

Hi, everyone. My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. He told me that he "fell out of love with me" and didn't see himself marrying me.

We met to talk in person after the breakup, and he said that he didn't like that we bickered and that he felt like he couldn't hang out with his friends. I told him that he didn't give me a chance to fix our problems, but he said he thought it was too late and that his feelings had changed. He said that for right now, he was sure of his decision, didn't want to hurt me, but wanted "something new."

We have been together for three years and have been through hell together -- grad school, health issues, and financial issues.

I love this man with all my heart and really want to win him back. Is there any hope? If so, what should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Four step process to know for sure:

    1. Cook him food, often.

    2. Screw his brains out.

    3. Don't be naggy, clingy, bitchy, or rude.

    4. Ensure you remain visually and sexually attractive to him.

    Do this for two weeks. If he hasn't changed his mind then it's over and move on.

    (as an aside: if he changes his mind and wants to be with you, don't ever cease doing steps 1-4.)

    • How do I go about doing all of this? I don't think he would be open to any of this right now.

    • Contact him and tell him you want to cook him/bring him dinner. He'll accept. If he doesn't, then you know it's over.

      Because he'll accept, #1 and #2 are solved. (I don't have to elaborate on why item #2 is solved, do I?)

      Assuming he remains in contact after filling his belly and rocking his world, (once may not be enough.. don't put out a desperate vibe, if he likes it he'll come back,) you have an open opportunity for #3. My take based on his statement in your question is that this may have been one of his beefs with you.

      Item #4 is a given as at all times you should be working to take care of yourself. It's especially important now. (Please don't do anything stupid or unhealthy to try to win him back though, it's sad and dangerous.)

      Bonus item: Good luck

Most Helpful Girl

  • He said he had no more feelings and he doesn't see himself with you :( I'm so sorry you're going through this but I know you will be okay. Hurting is part of growing and moving on unfortunately in this case.

    The more you try to win him back will only hurt you more. Never try to keep someone if they don't have feelings for you anymore because it is wasting your time when you could be healing and be with someone else.

    I know it hurts you a lot. :( Right now it's time to pick yourself back up and try new hobbies and change for better. Take the things and mistakes you've learned from this relationship and grow from it.

    You're still young it seems so so don't worry! You have lots of opportunities ahead of you and plenty of guys to meet!


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Do the no-contact rule. Don't chase him anymore. Let him miss you. Many guys want what they can't have. Even if he doesn't come back, why'd you want to force him to stay? As much as it hurts to be hit by reality, it's no use and you should stop trying. People fall out of love, shit happens. I'm sorry honey.

  • I'm going through the same thing. My partner walked out on me and said the same things. I want him to come home also. It's so hard honey. All the articles I've read says to do no contact and give him time to change his view of you in his mind. Try and keep busy and distract yourself. I hope you guys can sort it out but like me, I know things won't be the same now if he decides to come back now that he's left.

  • No. If you try winning him back you'll have to pretend to be something your not. If you succeed you will eventually hate the person you became and want to be yourself. It's not worth it


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