Does the no contact rule really work?

okay so basically my boyfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me we didn't talk for a few days, today I had a mental break down and non stopped texted him! he told me that in order to move on that he doesn't want to text me much anymore .. but usually when you don't contact the person for a while they will start to miss you right? .. why in the world is he saying that not talking will make him get over me .. ugh please help :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're missing the point.

    The no contact rule isn't for him... its for YOU.

    Deciding to be in a relationship is a life changing process that needs to be thought about carefully. How can you carefully analyze your relationship if you're hysterical (and having mental breakdowns)?

    You can't.

    Here's my advice. Take a few weeks to yourself. Go to the gym, go shopping, get new makeup and do something that makes you feel positive. Re-invent yourself. Take all this new time (since you won't be spending time with your ex-boyfriend) and do something that you always wanted!

    Talk to other guys that find you beautiful and take time to rebuild your confidence. (Try to avoid hooking up with lots of guys though that will only make you feel worse... especially if you still have feelings for your ex)

    Wait for a MONTH to pass... at least a month. And if you're stil dying to contact him.., do it.

    But remember NO CONTACT MEANS NO CONTACT! Erase him out of your phone, erase him off facebook, hide all the pictures you have of him (don't throw them out), and resist the urge to contact him. And if he calls don't pick up.

    It's gonna be hard but you need to do this for your own good.

    We've all been there before... trust me

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What Guys Said 2

  • sometimes not talking will work, sometimes not.

    it is the best and only way to tell though.

    i would stop imitating conversations with him, if he wants to get back together, he'll contact you. if he doesn't contact you after a month or so, definitely time to move on. in the meantime, just have fun, try not to think about it.

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  • no talking sometimes works yes you will miss the person, but eventually after a couple of months that fades

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes the non talking way does work, the less you talk to them, yes the more you miss them but also the more you realize the less you need them.

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  • the no contact rule only works if you don't contact him until he contacts you first. Now perhaps you should let him know that the break up was a good idea and that you accept it. Then do not contact him in any way. Wait for him to do so and he WILL. The only reason he doesn't want to talk to you now is because you are doing exactly what he expected which is probably begging for him to come back and saying "I still really love you"? Don't do the expected, girl! If you do completely the opposite from what he expects then he will start to wonder if he made the right decision.

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    • Great advice! thank you :)

    • This. in your situation you want to get back together. he'll miss you if you leave him alone. if he doesn't miss you though then he doesn't truly care about you and it's over. From there you'd have to move on to better things. Trust me, if he doesn't care enough to miss you then you'll surely be moving on to much better things

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