Boyfriend broke up because he needs to "find himself" but keeps texting me?

Background: My ex and I met online and dated for 5 months (we are both 24). We dated for 5 months. He opened up and said he hates his job and that he would like to quit and "find himself". I always wondered if this was bad timing for him and that he needs to know what its like to be independent (since he has practically jumped from relationship to relationship).

When I was away on a trip he told me his job was going to give him a 8 month contract in another province. He said he would like to do long distance with me. He said he knows it would be hard to be separated but hopes we can visit one another.

After my trip I came and we were hanging out. I decided to ask again about meeting his parents and from that question he poured out all of these doubts he has been having. He basically said that meeting the parents has never felt right and that something just seems "off". He said that he thinks he needs to be by himself for a while but he would like to stay in touch. He concluded that he does want to break up and that he is going to stay single for a long time to be able to sort out his life. I accepted this answer and thanked him for our time together and that there was no anger or hostility.

This happened about 2 weeks ago. I respected his decision and have not been in contact with him. About a week after this conversation he texted me out of the blue for a silly reason. He kept up the convo for the night and concluded by asking me if I was back to dating online. I asked him if he thinks I am that type of person and he said of course not and that he wasn't back online either. He then added that the last week has been tough for him because we haven't been communicating.

I wonder what his intentions are and what he wants from me moving forward. I would like to get back together with him but I am not willing to put myself on hold until he is "ready" - whenever that may be. I also don't know if I can emotionally just be friends.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's full of shit. He's wanting to be able to fuck others and you but you not others. This is a breakup


Most Helpful Girl

  • A sort of similar thing happened to me. My boyfriend ended things because he wasn't ready for a relationship. 2 months later we ran into each other on campus and started talking again. One thing led to the next and we ended up having sex. When this turned into a regular thing I told him that I don't do 'friends with benefits ' and asked him whether he wanted to give the relationship another go. He said he still isn't ready but that he loves me. I wasn't ready to put my life on hold for him. I think it's selfish to even expect someone to do something like this

    • I completely agree with you! I dont think he would even initiate sex with me if we ran into each other. he was always very respectful with boundaries. I ahve a friend who had this happen to her and a year later the guy was finally ready. So she told me I should just stay in contact to leave the possibility open but other friends say quit it cold turkey so I am still at a stand still with what to do

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