Why am I still having a hard time?

It as been just over 7 months since my ex broke up with me. I am still not over it. On Sunday it would be one year since we went hiking to see the sunset. It was the first time I held her hand and she put her head on me. I was going to kiss her that day but I chickened out and I got sick. That was the day I knew I wanted to be with her. On the 13th it would of been our 1 year anniversary. We went to DQ and I kissed her in the parking lot. I do still like her and I think it was the right person but wrong time. She is still special to me..
Why am I still having a hard time?
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