Why would an ex completely change themselves after a break up?

So long story short.. I was with my ex for three years, lived together, was serious then we just grew distance last few months and decided to split, it was amicable no screaming or anything I admitted I still loved him etc... anyway we both deleted our fbs.. a well after I moved out of the house he was back on Fb saying he was single. (Which hurt) we have been split a month now and I saw him a week ago to collect mail.. I came in and found he got himself a bulldog (something I always wanted).. and he has completely redecorated the house we shared.. like I never existed and I have to admit that really really hurt, like he has a completely new life within a month and just like I never even was part of his life... why would a man do this? Is this a sign to say actually maybe he never even loved me? Or a sign he's really hurting and trying to pretend I act didn't exist


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Could he be doing it to try and get over it?
    Plus no single man would have scatter cushions and flowery wall paper

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Most likely he is hurting. And he is trying to make the home different. My ex told me a lot of random little stuff reminded him of me. So he got rid of it all. Sort of weird he got the dog you've always wanted. So that itself throws out my idea of trying to forget you... so maybe he is trying to show you what you're missing?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • It seems like he's just trying to get over you. He's trying to speed up the process of getting over you. Some people get over people quicker than others

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  • It's actually pretty normal. It's called you live and learn and might be helping him cope. You don't really have right to be bitter.

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  • Funny, I've seen women:

    Chop off 6 inches of hair
    Gain/lose 20lbs
    start/stop wearing make-up
    skip town completely
    get a dog
    delete ALL social media presence
    start doing drugs
    get engaged...

    Can take years to fully get over someone, but if thats what the "relationship experts' online say to do then...

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  • Its a way of him forgetting you. But the buldog thing puts diffent perspective on it. Replaced you with the dog you wanted just as a reminder of you. So mixture of both. wouldn't get to upset youve gotta move on and might do it quicker. doesn't matter if split was joint decision. Would Probably still hurt. Just move on with your life. And let get on with his. Dont dwell on it. Concetrate on your future adventures.

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  • To find new losers. The average woman now is like a monkey. Doesn't let go one of the branches until it grabs a second branch.

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  • it could be both actually. or the process of moving on from you, is really fast of him.

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What Girls Said 13

  • My friend's ex did this too. Turns out he was just changing back to who he really was, and wanted to be since age was gone.

    Then she tried to get back with him, and was ready to jump at that offer, until she wanted him to go back to being how he was with her. He was quick and blunt in informing her that he hadn't been happy living a lie for her, and that she could take him as he really is, or take a hike.

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    • My damn phone...

      Changing back, since *She was gone.

      *He was ready to jump at the offer of getting her back

  • Maybe he changed himself completely to be in a relationship with you. Denying who you are will cause problems in a relationship.

    Maybe he loved you. Maybe he didn't. That's not the important issue.

    The relationship doesn't work because he couldn't be fully honest or even fully himself. Maybe in time things may change between you, but I rather doubt it.

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  • brcause he's hurting also.. guys react differently to women, him changin the house is his way of tryin to move on from painful memories.. the bulldog is subconsciously a way to remind him of u Becos u always wanted one.. he got a pet rather than bedding multiple women..

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  • Three years? Yes he did love you and maybe still does. He is living his own life without you now and he has to continue living it and you should too. You moved out. Of course he had to change the interior to his liking. He had to remove every bit of memory of you in that house to get over you. It has only been a month. He is hurting.

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    • I am living my own life I moved to a completely new town I was just shocked that he done all that so quickly and it was within two weeks of me moving out

    • Sometimes, the faster people do their best to move on for them to mask or get over the hurt quickly. I cannot just sit down and watch myself fade away because someone who has been a big part of me left me... :/

  • why did you only consider that he either a) never loved you or b) is hurting? why are your only two options ones that basically make you seem like the poor, wronged person in this situation or makes him seem like an emotional wreck. anyways he's prob just fine and normal, getting over you/already gotten over you, and is moving on with his life. why even care? you're split up. maybe you should get over him too.

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  • That is what I would do to move on

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  • Maybe it was your relationship that changed him. He used to like things how they were but you've made him think differently, so now he's just following his heart on that.

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  • you can't just expect him to be a ghost of a man pining away for his lost love. some would say that him keeping the house the way it was and trying to stay close to his ex girlfriend through materials is ”creepy” or ”pussy” behavior.

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  • He is probably (trying) to accept that you guys are broken up, and he wants to move on, and redecorating the house probably feels like a good fresh start

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  • Might be his way of excepting you have broken up and he is making some changes to try and move on

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  • Seems like he is moving on. Why be hurt when he is your ex. They're in ex for a reason.

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  • I'd say he's trying to get over you

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  • For a new start

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