Is breaking up because you are stressed about work a bit harsh?

8 months ago I met this girl online. She was in my eyes the perfect girl, simply because we had a lot in common our friends described us as she's the female version of me and vice-versa. We had a long distance relationship at first for four months and basically I decided to move down to where she lives which is on the south coast of England. It was a new territory for me no friends and a bit of a distance to go to work but I just dealt with it. This summer I had an important work related matter which involved a lot of time locked inside the house. I am a classical musician and my work requires a lot practice especially when it's an important audition. I didn't have much time to work before August because I went on tour and we both went on a nine day holiday to Verona after that. When we got back from Verona I told her that I need to focus on my work and she said that it's completely fine. For the first two weeks it was going well but then it hit rock bottom our communication suddenly dropped and I was worried and she was worried so she texted me two weeks before the audition and she asked if we should hang out on Thursday the week before the audition, normally I say yes but this was a lot of pressure and a lot of work had to be done so I said I would prefer if we don't for now it depends on how my practice is going and understandably she got a bit angry. We met that night for a drink with her mates and even though I was there I couldn't concentrate on what was going on around me cause I had only one thing on my mind. After that night things just got worse and basically it messed up everything cause all my focus now was on her rather than my work. A few texts went badly I felt a bit pushed away and I think I pushed her away too. Three days before the audition we met and she said she can't handle this stress we are too much alike and we broke up. It crushed me like a bug and it ruined my concentration. I do miss her a lot but I just don't understand why.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I personally think this is a bit selfish of her from what I've read here. Obviously we can't grasp the whole context of your situation from a few words alone. But I've been in the same boat with a really demanding career, it is very difficult to balance, unless the partner has an understanding of the kind of pressure you're under. Good communication is key and if you both have different needs then better to know sooner rather than later.

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What Guys Said 2

  • 1. Long distance relationships do not work.
    2. You already sacrificed much by reallocating to her.
    Stop being so feminised and act like a man. Remove distractions away from your life.

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  • I would say it depends on how long you guys have been in a relationship. If you've been dating someone for 3 or 4 years or 2 years or whatever and that's what they tell you there's probably a little more to it than that. But if you're 6 months to a year and a half into a relationship maybe and their job has become more difficult for them maybe a relationship isn't a good thing for them to try and manage also if work has put so much on their plate.

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    • Hi, we have been together for 8 months. She has a stressful job as well it's not the first time that she needed comfort by calling me twice in a day and spending a good amount of time on the phone because her job is just unbearable sometimes. I guess it all stands out on how you can be understandable. We never had a problem like this I just needed a good three weeks to work hard that's why I got really stressed in the first place because I didn't have much time to prepare.

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    • @Sienna-Rose Hi, well I've always supported her in many ways and I've always asked if there is anything that I can do like take her lunch to work or pick her up from work and I always told her that I am here for here so regardless of what I was going through I still was asking how her work is going and offered comfort when she needed. By the way this was the first argument of the whole relationship throughout the 8 months we never argued till this one.

    • This is why I feel it's selfish from her end. Although you're doing the right thing she's failing to see that she needs to encourage you too. Perhaps after a little time or space it'll make more sense to her and you two will be back on good terms when she realises she's been hard on you.

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