How bad is it to stay in contact with your ex?

Ok so this seems kinda complicated, at least to me. I don't really have a lot of friends, and even less that I can talk to about everything troubling me, namely my best friend and, up until recently, my now-ex-boyfriend. Now I know I'm clearly not over anything I feel/felt for him, but I have trouble not talking to him at all.
1. We broke up as peacefully as break ups can be, realising we just weren't fit to be together this way
2. I'm in kind of a bad situation overall right now. I've had trouble getting along with my parents/family for a long time now. In my training to become a teacher I got in a very bad mental place last year and had to take a break and am repeating the year right now which is stressing me out a looot. And all this stuff I was able to manage for myself with him, talking about it, staying with him for a few days when it was rough at home and so on. And he was basically the only one I could really talk to in depth about all of that.

Now I'm really scared to stop talking to him and starting the "healing"-prozess or whatever because I konw it will fuck me up real bad, and I don't have another chance in the teacher-training-stuff so I can't afford to fail this year (and that alone is stressing me out enough).
So yeah, I know it's not healthy to just repress that stuff, but I honestly don't know which is the lesser evil, staying or leaving completely...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I went through a very similar situation about 2 years ago now with a girl I dated for almost 2 years. We still talk to this day, though very infrequently. Only when either of us are going through a rough patch with school or work or something. The hardest thing I find is that the feelings I still had/have come back up any time we talk. Leaving completely would be difficult. I know from my own experience, but it's the fastest way to take your mind out of that situation and move on to better yourself. Everyone's situation is different and it will ultimately be up to your judgement what is best for your mental health.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • keep being good to him and showing real love hel soon realise there's no one like you. but stop stressing about this and hit the gym to transform yourself into a stronger woman hel love it

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What Guys Said 19

  • Any new guy you meet will not like you being friends with your ex. Your ex is just a conflict of interest, possible competition and a waiting set of open arms for you to run to if there was any problems. I understand you have issues and need him, along with not having a lot of friends, but this could hurt your success with future boyfriends.

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  • Dubious about staying friends, but life has. O hard and fast rules. Best to know ones self and what you can and cannot do. I believe I subscribe to the following this far (pic)

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  • I honestly never understood why people believe that when people break up they can not be friends. If it was a abusive relationship then I understand. If thing just don't work out the I think being friends is good. I still have friends that are ex's and we chat sometimes. My wife has a Ex that she talks to all the time, I see nothing wrong with it. Life is all about friends helping each other through hard times.

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  • Why leave? If you are basically best friends? I am still best friends with my ex, we get along just the best and we have the best times hanging out together when one is up for a visit. Don't get rid of him if he is a big help to you.

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  • Excuses excuses. If it was such a POS relationship that you broke up then just move on. Quit living your life in fear. There's nothing to be 'scared' of.

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  • As long as neither one of you wants to reconcile, you are fine.

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  • Colleges usually offer free counseling, same for community services. Some people can stay friends with Xs: it's normal. But you have listed a couple situations a counselor could help you feel more comfortable with.

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  • It amplifies bad and divides the good

    So if you want to stay less happy and more sad

    Carry on

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  • It's OK, as long as you aren't clingy and he doesn't mind.

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  • If you still talking with your ex, it means that you didn't love each other very much. It was just a simple friendship.

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  • I have no contact with any of my EXs

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  • Horrible

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  • not sometimes can still help each other

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  • If he wants you as friend that its ok if he wants more block him

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  • You can't get over him, is a good reasons, to stay away, untill you can

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  • Bad enough for you not to have a current.

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  • Leave completely. He is not the last guy on earth.

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  • Leave your past in the past

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  • You're fine. If you broke up on good terms then staying friends is definitely okay.

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What Girls Said 1

  • as bad as the amount you care for him

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