Does he really mean that he doesn't love me anymore?

Me and my ex lover have known each other for 3 years now. 3 years ago I got scared and didn't let him come see me, I didn't get off the phone when he was calling, and I talked to other people (even though we weren't actually together), because of all this he'll never come and see me. 3 years he constantly has been popping in and out of my life giving me some hope that we'll be together only to find out after we get into a fight that it will never happen.

Each time he comes into my life he has to be in control and everything has to be his way or no way and if it's not his way he's out. Here's where it started and ended 2 weeks ago he tells me that he's having sex with someone and it might be a regular thing, well he knows where my feelings stand and how I don't like him telling me that stuff when he knows how I feel about him. So of course I get upset and he gets upset back. All me and him ever do is have phone sex and he gets to screw all these other girls and he knows how bad I want him. I've been trying hard for 3 years to win him back and what I do isn't enough he still chooses them over me.

A few days ago he sends me a text talking about my come back and being able to potentially win him back, but then as of yesterday he's no longer in love with me. Yes, I tend to act crazy and blow his phone up, but that's not a reason to stop loving me. He knows what sets me off and he enjoys getting a reaction out of me and when I react the way he wants me to he turns it on me and calls me insane. He use to blow my phone up in the past and that was ok, but when I do it it's bad.

He told me he no longer loves me and wants me in his life anymore because of how I've been acting. He's treated me way worse yet I still stupidly love him. He blames me for everything and makes me seem like the bad person all the time. I hate how I let him back in time and time again and he ends up doing this every time. He says I knew we weren't going to be together, but I honestly didn't.

Updates:
We are still texting even though he wants me to leave him alone, and for some reason I can't. I don't want to let him go. It's been a roller coaster these last few years I love him I really do and it hurts when he tells me I'm incapable of love or heartless.
I keep trying to get him to see that I'm not crazy, but he just won't see it. I've given him proof, but he just turns around and says, "I feel sad for you." He knows what he has said, yet denies it every time to make me feel crazy. If he didn't want me in his life or love me anymore the would break ties and block me from everything, but he hasn't. He tells me he doesn't want to talk to me, but yet he still replies. I'm so confused... he's constantly Inconsistent.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He doesn't love you. He makes you think he cares but he doesn't give a fck. He comes in and out of your life because he knows you are going to take him back whenever he wants. You are not a hotel where he can just check in and out anytime. He is a narcissist who enjoys getting a reaction from you and you are letting him control you. You control your reactions and your life. Do not make someone else make or break you. Be strong.

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    • Thanks. I never understood why he always made me feel the way I did until I looked up narcissist. He makes me feel insignificant, he always puts me down or belittles me, he make me feel replaceable, and like crap most days. He calls me heartless and selfish. He turns everything on me and makes me feel like the meanest human being in the world and he never did anything. I tell him that he's the one that is incapable of love, but I just get laughed at. He never listens to what I have to say one wrong word and he hangs up the phone on me, he says that I treat him like crap, but all I ever have done was try to love him and give him my all. He told me that I'll never find anyone better than him that he is better. I'm driving myself insane trying be rational with him, but all he wants to do is keep flipping what he's doing on me so it makes it easier for him to leave. I know now that he never loved me because of he did he would never put me through this.

    • You are nobody's doormat. You are someone worthy of love. Respect and love yourself. It's time to dust yourself off and get on your feet, wrap it up and walk away. NEVER EVER LOOK BACK. It sounds easier said than done. I have been there too. But you will be stronger. Just think about all the bad things he has done to you. Use them against him to start crushing that "love" you feel for him.

    • Thanks for your advice! I will try. It hurts know he has no more feelings for me and can easily move on and it takes me awhile to get back on my feet. It's nice knowing now that he never did care or love me he just told me what I wanted to hear. Maybe one day he'll find someone who does the same thing to him a realize what he put me through.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I totally understand how you feel right now. My ex is always cold and hot to me. He is dating someone else also and I am still hoping we would get back together one day.

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    • I know now that we'll never be together. I wanted to be with him to for 3 years, I waited on him for 3 years and all he does is come in and out of my life with no intentions of getting with me. He makes me think that we will, but then tells me when he leaves aga I wasn't going to happen. I hope he was come back for you and you guys will be happy.

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    • I wish you all the best alright! Anytime, when you need to rant, I'm here alrighty!

    • I'm here too!

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