Does a confusing ex deserve a response?

My ex and I dated for 8 months. The relationship was really good, we had a good balance of everything. And then one day, for no apparent reason he stopped talking to me, within which I tried to talk to him but he told me his exams were on, so I didn't bother him apart from wishing him luck for the papers. A month later he broke up with me. Again, no reason. He told me something vague, like he didn't want to get married or something (I had never even asked him!). Then he rambled on saying we're not compatible, which was again crap. Though I am sure he wasn't dating anybody else. I thought he's immature and went into complete NC. He sent me a few forwarded messages over the next few months, I responded only to first 2-3 and stopped responding to others. I removed him from my messenger and social networking lists. And then, he and his friends start commenting some idiotic stuff and laughing loudly whenever I would walk past them. And then he starts showing me an attitude.

Then, I happened to finish with my program and we go separate ways so he knows he's not going to bump into me.

Now, a year later he sends me a message asking me if it'd be too much to ask to be friends with me.

I don't get it. And I don't know if I must respond to it or not. I do really like him, but I don't know if this is just a power game, in which case I'm better off without him.

What are the odds he's realized we were good together? Or is he just being an asshole? Or worse, for a booty call?

Other details : He'd sometimes try to put me down by talking of some random sh*t which he knew I wouldn't know of and then make fun of me. And at other times, he'd be a gem. Weird I know.

Anyway, any help?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He doesn't deserve anything from you. Basically this guy disregarded you without any thought to your feelings. He feels like he can just drop you whenever he wants to, and then pick you back up when he feels like it. He's not a good guy. You deserve better but guess what a guy is never going to treat you better if you keep settling for worse. You don't have to do anything for him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • yeah he wants your pussy, he doesn't have respect for you, if you want some easy and casual and comfortable f***ing then give him a call.


What Girls Said 1

  • It was basically the same situation with me and my ex: 10 month relationship with minimal problems, not very challenging but I thought we had plenty of time to go there in the future and then BAM. "We don't communicate and it can't be fixed". He was polite and accommodating for only a few weeks until he decided I "slighted him" by showing up at a party he was at and then after that everything was my fault. He hasn't tried to contact me since but I've been through similar things before. It could be a few things:

    He feels guilty about his past treatment of you and is trying to "make good" to soothe his conscience,

    He wants to see if he can still get into your heart, head, or. . . other parts too.

    Clearly if he has bounced from mean/nice/mean/nice in the past he doesn't know what he wants. Ask yourself what you feel he would add-or take away, from the life you've built for yourself without him.


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