My ex just texted me?

So a year after the break up my ex texted me stating that she would like to get to know me as a friend again.

We were together for about 4 years and tbh it was a nasty break up. I chased her for months just to find out she had a new guy not even a month later.

I don't really have any ambitions to be friends with her but on the other hand I'd like to meet/talk with her again just to see if I'm really over her or not.

This could end in to things:

~I see I'm over her and life goes on.

~Old emotions come up and it ends in a disaster

I'm not sure if I should take the risk or not. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If it put you through a crazy amount of heartbreak which sounds like it, it's probably best to think twice if it's really worth it for you. If she was with someone a month later, yet she suddenly wants to be friends now maybe it's just convenient in her timing? Then again I don't know her personally obviously lol but if someone were to do that to their ex, it doesn't sound really trustworthy to be "friends" now. I think she's just got nothing to do and honestly you deserve better than just to be someone's entertainment. As well as keep in mind words are just words, as cliche as it is actions really do matter and count.

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    • Well not gonna lie, it really hurt and left me depressed.

      But I think what hurt most isn't that she left, rather than the fact that she left without letting me talk things out.

      The last time I tried to talk with her she left me standing crying outside in the dark.

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    • Thanks for all the advice! I will be careful and cut every form of contact as soon as I see things get out of hand :)

    • No worries! Good luck :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • '' but on the other hand I'd like to meet/talk with her again just to see if I'm really over her or not.''

    That's a very common mistake. She ditched you, you chased, she had a new boyfriend quicker than you could blow your nose. Block, delete, move on.

    The bottom line is this. She knows that any man with self respect wouldn't meet up with her, or communicate. If you do meet, regardless of what happens, there will be no respect. The only question is whether this lack of self respect, and respect is subconscious, or consciously noticed on her part.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Always take the risk!

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    • May I ask why?

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    • Well yes and no, she always cried as she told me that. On the other hand how should she love me if she already had another guy and most likely cheated on me with him.

      I think she might have cheated on me and regret it but couldn't bring herself to tell the truth that's why she broke up.

      But that's a complete speculation so I don't know

    • Then maybe you should ask

  • Do what you feel like. If you miss her, then meet her. But personally I don't like getting back to exes. Not my cup of tea.
    Yesterday I texted my ex saying that I still like him (even though I don't) and he got excited about it and then I asked him to book me tickets for my holidays and I said if he did it, I would have coffee with him lol and he did it. 😎😎😎
    So I'm not sure what her intentions would be...

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  • If she is saying "friends again", If you were friends before dating than try to be friends with her, and figure out why she broke up with you. So you can find another women. On the other hand, If she says "friends again", and you were never friends to begin with. Then she wants to date you or work things out.

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  • Don't risk it. Don't see her. Don't talk to her. Move on.

    People's true colors shine through during break ups. You were with each other for a very long time. It wouldn't be a wonder if feelings came back if you saw her, but you don't want to waste any more time on someone who isn't worth it.

    Choose you because she didn't.

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  • You cannot relive the past. Do not

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    • You can but a text? For reals. If she turned over a new leaf then sge would come to you in petson and prove she was wrong the first time. Warning. The expression 'you never know what you got until its gone' is a double edge sword. She could be repenting or she could be on the bounce.

    • Go with it, I would not.

  • A lot can change in a person in at year. You seem to have no problem expressing your emotions, so you'll probably always wonder what would have happened, you wanna constantly think about that? Life is precious, short, & valuable. Everyone deserves a second chance (not saying date but friendship/causualness doesn't hurt anyone). At some point you cared about her before, don't let actions cloud personality judgments.

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  • Don't do it.

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  • Nope. Nope. Nopr. Just nope. Dont wanna risk catching feels...

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  • You shouldn't, don't give another bullet to the one who have the gun and just missed you once ;)

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  • don't mess don't even reply

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What Guys Said 13

  • You risk going through the same shit that you did the first time around. I understand that part of you wants to see her again. It's a value judgement that you can only make for yourself.

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  • If she is not single, I would decline to meet her. If you have negative feelings towards her, I would also decline. Only meet her if you think it would be enjoyable for both of you to see each other again, because neither of you is obligated to meet up.

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  • Reply with this

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  • In my perspective, this would be the same as looking back. Do not look back look forward in life move on.

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  • Well I think you should its better to forgive than to forget. And know that there's always another one out there.. and she's not the one for you. She's one of those bad experiences. You can always learn from those.

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  • Grow a pair of balls and just ignore her dude

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  • Don't let her infect you again.

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  • Dont see or talk to her again. Cut her out of your life

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  • Ex's as friends are fantastic, if you can become good friends with them I advise doing so, but if you feel stuff that you shouldn't be feeling book it.

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  • You shag her well. She wants more. She misses you, on a serious note.

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  • if u ain't got another option then yes but don't be surprised if history repeats it self lol

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  • Cmon go ahead play the bad guy

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  • Don't. Four years is a really long time and I promise those feelings will come back. I mean even if want to respond, I would probably bag and tag her if your single. But it's whatever.

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