Husband cheated says he wants me but still sees other girl?

What do I do? He begged for forgiveness said he knows it's with me where he needs to be, but that we might need some time apart. He says he is sorry and doesn't mean to hurt me, but he still goes to the other women's apt before coming home, he says he goes only as friends "he swears". What should I believe or do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He wants to be with you for logistics (like rent, cleaning, company) but not for sex.

    Just one idea.

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    • That's what confuses me.
      We have everything, we still have intimacy.

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    • You can follow me and then you can let me know how things are going or how you are feeling.

    • definitely will!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • He's already cheated, so he's proven his word can't be trusted. Trust is the foundation for every relationship. So why give him a second chance when your trust was misplaced the first time.

    If you placed your trust in him after he's betrayed you , you'd be putting yourself in a vulnerable position. He'd be setting your standards for how he can treat you

    Once a person cheats they've shown you what their true potential is. You can't trust the words of anyone who has betrayed you. He's making a fool of you , and manipulating you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • You need to determine the cause, are you pleasing him emotionally and sexually? What is he missing so that he's looking for it in another girl? If he apologized and said he wants you it could mean he's missing something and she's fulfilling him but deep inside you're the only one

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  • This can be really tricky cuz I've been through this with my girlfriend before... it's a 50/50 chance of him cheating or not so if you wanna play your bets safe trust me if he loves you he'll be rolling to you for help and peace of mind he won't be looking for other options and if he cared not to be caught as a cheater he would meet his so called friend at a public place not her apt.

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    • That's what I thought. At then end of the day he wants to be here or not. Of he loves me. like he says, he would have stopped all communication with her.

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    • going back now to pick up more of out stuff. tonight I'll be sleeping at a different place.

    • Sorry to hear that i hope you'll be better soon

  • Tough spot to be in. Your options are to:
    1) work through this and stay in the relationship
    2) accept his behavior and work out a compromise that works for both of you
    3) Leave him

    I am in no position to tell you what to do. How can any of us tell you? You have expectations to make it work for you. You either compromise or he does. Marriage is a tough thing.
    Will he cheat in the future once he has cheated on you? Maybe.
    Can you two actually have a conversation to see what motivated him to make that choice? For some reason he felt the need to cheat. If he agrees to stop seeing her, what would be expect?

    Speaking from personal experience, for some strange reason, its gets tough to talk to your spouse especially about sexual things. You can do things with a stranger that you would never ask your spouse to do. When that is the person you should be asking those things from.

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  • He is still sleeping with her. I wouldn't normally advocate divorce but in situations like this, forgiving him taking him back... he is not honest and a cheating toad.

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  • Leave his ass

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    • Started gathering my things, I will try to leave Sunday evening, before he returns home.

  • If he was truly sorry he'd cease his contact with the other woman to leave no doubt in your mind. It's either you or her.

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  • If you have kids, stay. If you don't then I would leave him, my mother says cheaters never change.

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    • staying for the kids sake is never a good idea.
      why should she put her happiness last?

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    • Being in a loveless house hold can be just as traumatizing.
      The fact that this poor lady's husband is continuing the affair even though he has begged for forgiveness shows that he is not committed 100% to working on the marriage.
      To stay or leave is a decision that she needs to make on her own.

    • @Goodwifie If she didn't have kids I would leave the instant he said that! Don't get me wrong, that is a disgusting thing to do, and the fact that he is still doing it is even worse. If he was sorry he would stop. I hope she can leave him and be well off.

  • kick him to the curb

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  • Dump that peice of shit.

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  • Maybe if you'll give him proper sex he won't cheat again.

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    • We have it. He goes on and on on how great it is... how I will always be only for him. etc... so I mean it could be the issue, I don't know.
      I do know sex was not missing in this relationship

    • thenI don't know what it is. If it was only once with the other one then it would have been a moment of weakness. But he does this constantly.

  • Talk to his mom if she is still alive

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    • She will be heartbroken.
      Constantly she would say "I thank you for having patience with my son is understand he is very difficult, hard-headed, but you make him happy, don't leave my son have patience deep down he is very nice and he loves you"

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    • I will do that. We have to say goodbye to her today. Will explain why.
      And yes, stay strong and have faith, God knows was best for me, if it was meant to be he'll come back if not... move on.

    • Have trust in God , pray. Itll be alright

What Girls Said 12

  • he is still seeing her for sex even though he has begged for your forgiveness. This is a complete deal breaker when it comes to asking for forgiveness.
    It is possible to repair a relationship after infidelity has accured but it takes work on both sides.
    All the best my dear.

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  • Leave him, he is sorry yes, but he is not going to leave the other girl and you are not going to feel better knowing he is seeing someone else.

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    • true. it isn't easy being home while he is with her. thought by leaving I'd be giving up. I just need to hear it from people, that it shouldn't be me fighting for him. it should be him if he really did care.

  • He basically wants you to accept this lifestyle, I think at this point it's pretty obvious either you roll with it or cut the bullshit and stop allowing him to waste your time like that.

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  • If he still sees other people then its time to end it- if he made mistakes and he wants to change and is proving to you slowly but surely thats a different story. Thats disgusting that he can still go to her apartment and come back to you, he's taking you for granted, sees you as weak.

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    • He did mention, "I need to be stronger" he is confused. He just said this morning he loves me, yet he is out with her and his 2 children from previous relationship. (We also have a daughter 5 year old) breaks my heart how she senses that we might leave daddy.

  • Drop his sorry ass 😒

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  • Get a divorce. For real.

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  • Once a cheater, always a cheater. Divorce.

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  • Divorce your husband

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  • Kick rocks

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  • Id say leave unless you really don't want too then make sure he never sees her or speaks to her again if you want to stay.

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  • divorce him

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  • I've been the other woman. Don't believe his lies. He wants the stability of being with you and the kinky new sex with the other woman. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

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