What to do if a girl won't say what she's wants after breaking up?

So my now ex... girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me two days ago out of the clear blue. She could never see herself going anywhere or ever losing interest in me. She told me how I mean so much to her blah blah blah. Well, the past week, he behavior did a complete 360 and started acting cold. Her life did get busier cause she went back to school on top of full time work. So, the past week, just started messaging me less and less and ignoring some of my texts or phone calls, which is not normal for her. And she told me nothing was wrong repeatedly when I asked about it and said I was overthinking things. Then, two days ago breaks up with me saying her life is too busy to be in a relationship. Total mind fuck after we planned spending time together around our busy schedules. But, she just said she didint want a relationship, not whar she wants out of this. I want to be friends not cause im needy but I care about her and want to be there for her. I asked her and she said she didint care if we tried to be friends or not... whatever that means. Im like lets try to be friends. she's like Ok. Well two days of trying to be friendly and its like she dosent want to. Ask about it and says nothing is wrong again and im overthinking. I asked if she still wanted to be friends and instead yes or no, she says "We can be friends". Im like what does that means and now we had this argument going around in circles cause she just can't come out and say what she wants. Its making me crazy and makes me look crazy. The thing that bothers me the most is she had no emotion whatsoever about the breakup and did not seem to care she hurt my feelings. And she can't be positive about trying to make a good outcome out of it at least being friends. I really dont know how someone can change their feelings for someone drastically in a short amount of time and just not care? So im at a total loss as to what to do because trying to talk to her just keeps sending me in a circle and extremely frustrated.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Stop talking to her. You're driving yourself off the wall. Give her space. Bombarding her with these calls and texts with the same question is not helping you. You are pushing her away. She will reach out if she still cares.
    For now, leave her alone.

    • Its just frustrating. If someone needs space, why can't they say so? I thought she needed space while we were together and backed off at one point and turns out she was having a bad week and actually needed me. She got mad I backed off and was not there for her. So your damned if you do, damned if you dont.

What Guys Said 2

  • Ok, you are smothering her. She needs time and space and you won't give it to her. You are driving her further and faster away. Just tell her you don't want to break up, but you do realize she is busy and you will back off so she can focus. Tell her she can call you anytime, and then leave her alone.

    • She broke up with me but never made it clear if she wanted to be friends or not. I asked her if she needed time or space, she said no she's past it. Whatever that means.

    • Well, if she is that closed off, I would assume she met someone else and is scared to hurt you but wants to move on.

    • I dont think there's someone else. She says there isn't. But even if there is, I wouldn't care although it would bother me if she's lying to me. I just want to be friends with her at this point.

  • Do you really want to keep trying to be with someone that pushes you off like that? Move on

    • I would if she told me to move on. I guess I care too much, but I dont just ditch people unless they dont want me around anymore. Its like she's keeping me around but pushing me away at the sametime and dosent give an explaination and beats around the bush when called out. It starts to drive you crazy.

    • You're hooked to her net. She doesn't let you go neither away or too close untill she finds another guy she prefers. Basic behaviour, she's taking advantage of you and feeding of your attention, boost her confidence.
      Stop this and cut the net.

    • Id like to know if thats the case cause if so Id drop her like a hat.

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