If you slept with someone - knowing full well that they were married - would you tell their spouse as revenge when they dumped you?

So I saw this scenario a few days ago and have been thinking it over, debating with my own partner lol and I'd love others opinions.

Complete hypothetical; is it ok to contact their spouse with lewd messages and photos purely out of spite and revenge when you 100% knew they were married but chose to date and sleep with him/her anyway?
Or is it cruel to use destroy someone else's happiness and family when you too knowingly made a bad choice? When the intent behind it is not to let them know their spouse is unfaithful but to get revenge for being used and cast aside?

I'm really interested in the reasons WHY you would choose the option you do too

  • Yes, because regardless of my bad choice the spouse should know
    Vote A
  • Yes, because they deserve it for hurting me
    Vote B
  • No, the intent isn't to help the spouse but to hurt the cheater
    Vote C
  • No, it's not my business
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
I wish people would read the question.
This is a HYPOTHETICAL on what YOU would do if in this situation.

This is not a real scenario, for me or anyone I know. If you can't read please don't answer, though if you couldn't be assed to read the question properly I doubt you'll read the update 🙄

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't want to inflict the emotional damage upon the innocent spouse.

    It will probably happen to them at some point, but I'd consider that I'd already done enough damage to them by having an affair with their wife behind their back.

    It's yet another great reason not to do this. Innocent people also get hurt. I'd already be ashamed enough of myself without compounding it further.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would never sleep with a married guy and amy pain that came to me if I did, I would deserve. Hurting the innocent spouse is uncalled for and not helping anyone.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 38

  • doing that will only prove the bitch of a woman/man you are, as you already slept with that person knowing he/she is married. Even more, doing that only because that person decided to stop seeing you at some point. So you are not doing it to correct a mistake you've made, but to make sure you destroy everything there is left out of that marriage just to feed the low life bitch ego you have.

    It wouldn't minimize the fact that the other person that cheated is a cunt.

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    • Fail at reading

    • think i've told this story before. I was once called over by this girl to help her out. she was married. the day I was supposed to go, her husband was out of town. she called me on a Saturday morning when she usually woke up at around 1 in the evening.
      I have to admit I was so stressed, that I really thought her help request was genuine. Only as I ended up in front of her door and she opened up, I realized she wanted to have sex.
      I gently avoided her jumping on me, she figured out it's a no, so I left. Nothing else. If she cheated with someone else? None of my business. I'm not friends with her to give her a speech and I have no idea who her husband is.
      We lost touch.

  • I guess I can't speak for everyone, but I always sort of assume that all guys pretty much feel the same about this. If you hook up with a woman who happens to have a boyfriend or is married, it's none of your concern. In fact, it's the other guy's fault that she's doing this at all because if he were keeping her happy, she wouldn't be here with you. I'm sure that's just victim blaming and rationalization, but it always seemed like a reasonable defense at the time.

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    • I've got this map in my mind of stereotypes I think would choose each option... the guys are split in half with "not my circus, not my monkey" and "bro's before ho's" but then the women have more variables

    • Naw im saying no it doesn't do anything good and i wouldn't tell its childish and if she doesn't want you no point any way

  • Last night I made out with a married woman. It was a woman who was in an arranged marriage with her own cousin. Gross.. I know..

    She begged me to meet with her and begged me to kiss her.

    I do not love her. But, as a man, I know that a woman begging for you lustfully is rare in life. Life is short. So I made out with her. We might have gone to 2nd or 3rd base.

    I had moral feelings before doing it. She was persistent. I came to the conclusion that I might as well kiss her out of curiosity because her marriage is none of my business. I would never go outside of my relationship, but I am single now. If she wants to go outside of her marriage, that is her responsibility. That is her burden.

    No. I will not tell this dude I dont even know. No i do not feel any guilt for kissing her. Their marriage is none of my business.

    I have a voluntary friendship with the wife. That's between us. I have been blunt that it was a one time kiss. If I were in her position I would never tell unless asked directly.

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    • You should hav just did her

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    • It happens but the more cray cray the better the lay lay

    • @darklandrunner haha. I bitched her iut today snd she's still liking my fb posts. Single women be cray cray

  • I've been picked up on or try to be picked up on by 3 married women and to this day if I bump into them they always say I love you and I respect you so much returning me down I can't believe you're the only guy that's ever turned me down all three of them have said this so the answer is no I would not sleep with married women you know I would never intentionally hurt anybody anyway

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    • Wonderet can i ask what would u do

    • I can't imagine myself ever doing this; KNOWING he was married as loyalty is my #1 most valued attribute but if I had I don't think I could tell her. I'd only be doing so to try and salvage my own pride at being dumped and it wouldn't be fair to put my pride and ego as a priority when I wasn't willing to put her feelings above my sexual desires when I would've found out about their marriage but gone through with it anyway

  • I don't hookup with married women. I'm not scum

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    • Purely hypothetical for the situation, if you can't imagine it what would you want your spouse to do if they cheated on you. I'm only interested in the reasoning behind the decision to tell or not to tell 😊

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    • For participating, not for not telling haha

    • I'm just not vindictive

  • No. I'd have to be delusional to think that my "relationship" with a married woman wouldn't eventually come to an end. I mean come on! she's in a legal binding agreement with someone.

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  • No, one should not.

    First of all, if one is dating a married person, she is accepting that she is #2. If the guy breaks up with her, so what, she was only #2. It was never going anywhere anyway. It was just about sex.

    Secondly, that is being intentionally harmful, and that is just not a nice thing to do.

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    • These were my first thoughts too, but shouldn't the spouse know they married a cheater? Just thinking out loud

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    • The PM function would be great to utilise here thanks guys

  • No, I would feel bad for taking what wasn't mine in the first place and just leave it at that.

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  • If I was the type of person who would sleep with a married man, then I guess I would also want revenge cuz I'd be a psychotic psycho

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  • he/she should walk away and avoid sleeping with married people, because the same thing will happen again, or they end up breaking the marriage.

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  • I most likely wouldn't, don't need the drama and generally I'm not a vindictive person.

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  • F&*k no if I initiated the relationship. I don't need a psycho hubby coming after me. :/

    He'll find out himself in due time.

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    • Truth always comes out at some point!

    • Hopefully it'll be with the next guy she's willing to sleep with and I'm a distant memory since she's over me.

  • I slept with a married woman 17 years ago. She didn't tell me until 3 weeks after we had sex. Mind you she was legally separated so I guess it' wasn't cheating. I will never knowing have sex with a married woman.

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    • Legally separated? you good bro. There was nothing wrong there.

  • What? So you know prior that that person is married - still sleep with him/her and then decide to be a douchebag^10 and tell their spouse?

    Why not just NOT sleep with that person to begin with?

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    • Did you even read it? Like at all?

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    • Way to be butthurt over nothing. Calm your tits.

    • Tits are calm 👍🏻

  • If you fucked him knowing he was with someone then no you shouldn't tell her its your own fault so stop being a baby and get over it. If he lied and you did not know he was with someone then it would be a different story but it was ok her not knowing while you were fucking him so whats changed not he has got bored of you?

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  • I wouldn't sleep with a married woman , but hypothetically this happened no I wouldn't tell

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  • I would never do that in the first place, but regardless of that I think there is nothing wrong with telling their partner of what happened. The cheaters partner deserves to know he/she is being cheated on.

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  • Id say I'd leave it to karma, but at the same time, what the eff are you married for If you are gonna f around... so I'd prolly tell

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  • Karma is a bitch
    You f each other... then he f u... now you asking if you should f him... do it!!! but karma will once again come for you

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    • Try reading the question again

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    • You've said fuck him again. This isn't about me fucking anyone, it's a hypothetical question on where people's morality is based. If you're intertwining your meaning of "fucked" between having sex and then telling their spouse then clarification of that would be great

    • Oh... sorry
      Let me se... my morality is so hi up that when i saw you saying you f... married man I went berserk. soo yea blackmail him with pictures to never cheat again. to be a good husband and a father... I would make something good out of it

  • Not an issue, never bring it up. just leave the sex where it belongs in the bedroom.

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  • Of course not. Walk away. At one time you valued your relationship with that person, respect that life moves on and so should you.

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  • No i had a situation simular to this im not-sure if she was married but when things ended i wouldn't do that to her she was special oddly enough we never fight hated always luv and cared and resepcted so when it ended i knew where her boyfriend worked and everything but it would just made me a bad person

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  • I've been with many married women. Regardless of which one of use dumped the other, neither of us have ever told the other's spouse. That would be the lowest of the low.

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  • If you are the cheater or the home wrecker I have no time for either person

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  • I wouldn't try and get revenge for dumping me.
    im just not that type of person

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  • I didn't even vote! You leave that woman ALONE!

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    • Can't. Gonna tell all the woman's

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    • Her husband or the family of yr husband?

    • I'm only a lowly woman, I don't understand all those acronyms

  • It takes 2 to cheat. You would know what your actions lead to so you're partially responsible

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  • I was afraid that this was going to happen to me I now live in a small City so who knows when the skeleton will reveal itself

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  • Oh no once you chose to pay the piper then dance to the music if you know what u was getting your self into before it started then deal with the consequences

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  • I'd be the same as @pinkzoesbb

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 19

  • If you want to be really petty- there are people that will do this because they want to hurt the cheater- it sucks in the first place that this is even the scenario but one should own up to their actions, and people get dumped all the time just in this case, the dumpee has more leverage.

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  • I wouldn't contact the spouse. I'd deal with the heart break. If I knew the guy was married going into the affair and expected him to leave I would just be fooling myself. Destroying a family isn't in me. Seeking revenge out of spite wouldn't change the outcome. It's a big no for me.

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  • If I was to do something as low as that, I would also be coward and cover my own ass, by not telling anyone. I couldn't bear the embarrassment and shame of admitting to people I've done such a thing fully knowing the other person was married. I would be as selfish as to think it would hurt myself more than anyone else to go tattling.

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  • I wouldn't sleep with a married person but if someone dumps you, it's childish to try to get revenge. And of course with a married person, you're just going to be a fling, so I don't know how you wouldn't see it coming anyway.

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  • no. seems too destructive. people kill over things like that.

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  • First off if I was the mistress, honestly I would not have sex with a guy who is married or spoken for, but hypothetically let's say I am a slut, I would think emotions would be felt during sexual encounters and she would call the wife to try to break that relationship up...

    Now as a wife if I ever get a call with evidence showing that this girl slept with my man, I would thank her, and hope the best for her on her new relationship with my soon to be ex husband because honestly I believe it's not just the mistress to be blamed but the husband as well two people make the choice to have sex and of he can't be faithful to me then I would not want to dedicate and devote anymore time to him better let the garbage go and get decomposed someone else rid free of trash in your life if you know what I mean

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    • Really? You'd thank someone and wish her well when she knew full well exactly what she was doing? That she knew about you and your family but chose to sleep with him anyway? It's not all her fault, at all but she is just as culpable in terms of being a decent human being.
      I could never wish someone who would do this well in their next relationships lol

    • Yes well, I did that, I divorced my husband of 2 years the day a girl came to my door telling me she loved my husband and showed evidence of them being together. This girl knew he was married, my exact words to her was "Well, must be hard for you to come all this way to tell me you're a slut, but I appreciate your honesty and thank you for it, now the both of you could be together, because I believe God creates angels in pairs why not demons, so take care and enjoy your life, now get out of my f#£#ing house"... That same day I dealt with the situation personally with him and left. People deal with things differently... I suppose

  • All make mistakes and the (married ones to) so no. Even if they did cheat with u , they will always go back to the one they love. U knew he was married and u knew the risk. It be wrong to tell his partner just to get back at him and in the proces hurt the inocent one

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  • no. thats really stupid, childish and a great way to make yourself look like a whore.

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  • Lol at the update. I can't say what I would do because I just can't picture myself in that situation but ill answer it this way. I think its wrong. That's a messed up person that does that. Its

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  • I think I might, but only because the spouse deserves to know.

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  • No.. Have you seen that show Deadly Women?

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  • No I wouldn't.

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  • They should know that their husband or wife cheated on them

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  • I hit other because I'm not a hoe and would ever be in that type of situation to begin with.

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  • No, I am not in a relationship with the spouse.

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  • dont do it

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  • I wouldn't tell on him cause why did I slept with him in the first place if I knew he was married.

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  • I wouldn't sleep with a married man, but I would tell cause they should know

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    • Just to clarify you think his wife should know because you feel bad about what you did to her? In the hypothetical?

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    • I could have proof

    • This goes for me too.

  • nah, it would probably backfire and I'm not that bitter.. or stupid for that matter, or I like to believe that at least lol

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