Ex won't return my 3DS ($200 value), what can I do?

A few months ago my ex (26m) and I (22f) had a rough break up. Worried because he threatened suicide, I kept in contact with him (which gave me serious anxiety and panic attacks). I later stopped speaking to him because I could not handle it, ending with asking him for my stuff back.

For reference, he lives in Hawaii and I have since moved to California. August 13th I asked him over Instagram if he could return my 3DS. He replied that he would "send it tomorrow."

September 2nd I checked in, as it should take around 5 days or so for a package to arrive. He said that looking at my 3DS "didn't exactly bring good memories," and therefore he hadn't sent it yet. I asked if he needed money for shipping, or if he could drop it off at a friend's house who could send it to me. He said that money was not the issue, and he would drop it off to my friend "if he happened to be in the area."

Obviously this wasn't good enough for me so I asked him to please take care of this as soon as possible, which would be in both of our best interests. He said he'd "send it by tomorrow" (which would have been the 3rd).

Now it is September 12th and I have not received anything. I sent a message asking if he had sent it yet, and he has not replied. This was 8 or 9 hours ago.

Since I'm not in Hawaii (and won't return until 2018), I don't know what I can really do. Is there anything I can do, even?

I really do not want him to have any of my possessions. I plan to give the 3DS to a friend if and when it's returned. I feel that him keeping my property is his attempt at a power move and it is really infuriating me.

Any tips are greatly appreciated! Has anyone else had to deal with something like this? Is this amount "too small" for me to even bother with? Thank you!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, recognize the fact that this game system will be obsolete in less than one year and be worthless.

    More importantly, maybe it's time to realize that if this game system is that important to you you might have a problem.

    This is a good opportunity to just get this guy out of your life and to grow up a bit and stop playing video games and start adulting.

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    • I actually want to give it to a friend's sibling who has autism and would really appreciate it.
      I want him out of my life and I know he is doing this so that he can stop holding this over me. I would prefer if a deserving person had this over a person who is spiteful and sends me disturbing images.
      Thank you for your response!

    • Ther is pretty much little legal pretty you can do because it would cost you more than to just buy a new system.

      However, what you can do a variation of The No Contact Rule...
      IN A CALL, say "Fine. Keep the system." and hang up. At this point, he will have realized that he has seriously pissed you off, so, in his mind, if he wants to stay in your good graces, he better send the system back to you. If he calls back right away and says that he will send it back, you be rather cold and say "I will believe it when I see it. THEN maybe we can be civil with each other. Until then, do not call me or text me or email me. Goodbye."

      At this point, he has an option.
      1. If he wants so somehow in his life, he will send it back.
      2. He might just keep the system and never call you again.

      If you do get the system back, thank him, but then you can stop interacting with him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just buy another

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What Guys Said 4

  • Not really anything you can do. You could report it stolen, but he could say it was a gift at the time and it would be your word against his.

    Its a messy situation, you're probably not getting it back

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  • You mentioned that you had friends he could drop it off with. Why not ask one of them to personally collect and sent it to you?

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    • My friend lives a long distance away and doesn't have a car at the moment. My ex also does not get along with this friend, so I don't know how an interaction between them would go...
      Also, I'm not sure what his current schedule is so I do not know when he would be home. I'm sure he has told his family horrible things about me, and they do not know my friend. :(

    • In that case, you can remind him from time to time, but don't be surprised if you've lost it forever.

      A sad loss, but keep your dignity.

  • Send him an ultimatum telling him you'll call the cops.

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  • Steal her car

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What Girls Said 0

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