My boyfriend wants to take a break but won't tell me why?

Question

My boyfriend wants to take a break but won't tell me why?

Anonymous

Last night he messaged me and told me he needed space, gave a few reasons but overall didn't tell me why. So today I asked him face to face he said he felt like this for a while but he doesn't know why he also said that he still wants to be in a relationship. I'm sorta scared to ask him again bc he said he doesn't wanna talk to me until Monday and I don't want to annoy him more. I feel so sad this is my first relationship and I love him so much. I don't know what to do..

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18

Most Helpful Guys

Anon85
Yoda

+1 y

''Gave a few reasons''. If you could tell us what he said helping would be a lot easier

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AbbyHart
Xper 3

+1 y

I met this guy 2 years ago. He was all i could have asked for, and we were both in love with each other. He entered a mid life crisis and he just asked for some space...

I don't know if your situation is the same as mine but, I never saw him again. haven't seen him since then. if it were me I would try to figure out what was going on because I wouldn't want to loose him.

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iminhell
Xper 6

+1 y

Some people think it's fine to see other people when they are on a break so I would just make sure that, that's not what kind of a break it is. And if there are problems in the relationship even small that don't seem to be resolved taking time can put things into perspective.

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Okay, I don't know I just feel so sad do you know how I can cope?
- iminhell
  
  +1 y
  It's gonna suck no matter what. The best you can do is keep yourself as busy as possible. If venting about it helps you then do that but if it doesn't try to focus on anything else which i understand is easier said than done
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Thank you
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- bytes
  
  +1 y
  Yeah so true
Rox95
Xper 5

+1 y

Take the time to do your own thing. Have some girl time and relax. Draw a bath, have a long soak. Put on a face mask and do you nails. Work on yourself and your own happiness while he's having his space. I'd say have a glass of wine but you're under 18 😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

153

KaseyRouqe
Xper 5

+1 y

Honestly if you are scared to ask him again so you won't annoy him, speaks badly about your relationship. You should be able to express your concerns just like he did. If you can't communicate properly with him, the relationship will be doomed either way. You should give him a bit of space, but don't let him play with your time and feelings. Give him a certain amount of time to figure his things out. Try to be reasonable, but also don't let your feelings get in the way of your self respect.

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Veda11
Xper 1

+1 y

Give him his space all guys do this from time to time the worst thing to do is clean and more importantly guys like the chase if everything he wants is readily available it loses its worth don't always be available have a life outside of him

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Thank you, I really hope it works out between us
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Oh wait I thought this was my other question, he actually broke up with me today bc he needs to focus on his grade bc they are dropping. He said we can be friends for now and maybe get back into a relationship in 3 months when schools over. My problem is that I'm worried he'll be over me by then
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  First of all Monday I won't be available because he setting all the rules and he's expecting you to be available and what he's doing is checking your availability you become much more valuable when you have your own life and possibly someone else who's interested in you now I know people think this is a bunch of crap but I'm telling you right now you do that and watch
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- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  My sister and I used to call it going dark mean to say don't answer your phone don't be available don't be late expect to see you and believe me he will come looking
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  I think it's pretty unreasonable asking someone to put their life on hold because you're having issue with your grades and wait around a little while and maybe we can still have a relationship all he's trying to do is stop you from having a relationship with someone else and if you agree to that you have agreed to allow him to disrespect you... to hell with that sister what you allow will continue
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  He won't be able to get over you in a couple of days if you go dark on him I bet you that
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Okay thanks
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  I pull that crap every time one of them breaks up with me be like okay sorry you feel that way and at that point they have no business knowing what's going on in your life and just like it's just like having two dogs right you give one a bone and he doesn't one of them now bring your other dog in the living room and offer it to him in the first dog we'll be all over it just so the other dog don't get it and as much as that sucks is very much Human Nature
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone is very true
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  And this technique hasn't failed me in 20 years they can call me everything from Heaven to Hell but you dropped the texting drop the phone calls drop the availability and then all of a sudden they realize how much they loved you all along all about balance now granted I don't know what culturally is his background I know for a lot of young men it's very important culturally to kind of build a future either financially or I guess in his case collegiately prior to taking a wife long time partner on like that
aagonyaunt
Xper 4

+1 y

Why you can't speak to him till Monday? Everything will change Monday? You said he gave you a few reasons, maybe this is it, maybe you're undermining those reasons that might be very important to him.
Or he's just full of bs and looking for a brake to sleep with somebody else, then when you'll find out he'll say " we were on a break ".

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  He broke up with me today bc he's stressing about his grade which are dropping and said he needs to focus on them. He said we might get back together when school ends but he doesn't know... I'm so lost
- aagonyaunt
  
  +1 y
  Maybe he made that decision cuz he was pressured by his parents to focus less on you and more on his grades.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  He said he spoke to his dad about breaking up with me but his dad said nothing.. I know his dad does put a lot of stress on him and I do believe this could be part of the reason.. but I just don't know what to do
Pamstah
Xper 4

+1 y

Give him some space, let him figure out what he really wants and besides that, ask yourself: is the relationship you're in right now actually the kind of relationship you want?
I mean, you are afraid to ask him something, because you think you'll annoy him...
Doesn't sound good to me tbh.

Give him some space and don't think about it too much. Take the opportunity to do things you love for example.

But keep breathing okay?

How long have you guys been together?

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Just reached 6 months
cheesecake_
Xper 1

+1 y

Give him his space. I know it's hard, but if you don't it will only make things worse. I know this personally. I didn't give my ex space and it blew up in my face. Talk to him on Monday and see where his head is at.

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Vmm90
Explorer

+1 y

He may be going through something and needs some space. Just trust him and wait until Monday, you could cause more issues if you don't respect his wishes. Just wait it out, at least that's what I would do.

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TinkDarling18
Xper 1

+1 y

This doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be with you. The fact that he said he still wants to be in a relationship is good thing. I would just give him the space until Monday. It sounds hard but, in that time you should do what makes you happiest and when Monday rolls around he'll see what brought him to you in the first place. Good luck lovely!

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  He broke up with me today, he said it's because his grades are slipping and he needs to focus on that which I understand he said we could be friends then when school finishes maybe date again but I'm worried that he will get over me by then
- SongBird3
  
  +1 y
  Well thats not a horrible reason. Education comes first.
  If he's really that special one than hell wait for you
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I agree with you, thank you. I really hope we work out
Rainyday21
Xper 1

+1 y

Let him go. I'm sorry sweet heart. If he has been feeling this way for a while, there is no coming back from it. Holding on will cause you more pain

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amel23
Xper 7

+1 y

Give him some space forget about him and move on to other things keep busy what u want to do he will see that u miss him and go running after u

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bytes
Xper 5

+1 y

Yeah I did that too, I just decided I'm gonna go be alone for a bit, cos I feel like I can't be myself in truth. They want to hear I'm ok when I'm not so whatever

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samhradh_leannan
Guru

+1 y

If he won't talk, then all you can do is wait until he's ready to.

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cinderelli | 162 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru

+1 y

Don't annoy him.. talk to him on Monday and see what happens.. keep yourself ready for a bad news

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Vincenza
Xper 1

+1 y

Leave it to him. You deserve someone better who is brave enough to tell why he is doimg what he is doing.
I wouldn't ask if he feels like he doesn't want to tell me why. I would he like Okay it doesn't work. Have a good life bye!

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Anonymous

+1 y

My friends have the same problem. All I can say is it will be alright. I went through the same thing.

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reptocarl | 2.9K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Master

+1 y

Because he's found someone else

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I doubt that he's highly against cheating
- reptocarl
  
  +1 y
  Believe everything you hear?
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  He's not cheating on me I know that
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- reptocarl
  
  +1 y
  Have fun with that
- Veda11
  
  +1 y
  No need to be so harsh just need to take command of the situation
- reptocarl
  
  +1 y
  @Veda11 I don't have time to argue with teens
Anonymous

+1 y

Tell him to give it to you straight & to stop playing games!

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kayakkyle46
Xper 3

+1 y

Your a bitch

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Uh why?
- kayakkyle46
  
  +1 y
  Statistics
- Rox95
  
  +1 y
  According to my statistics, you, Mr kayakkyle46 are the bitch. :)
- Show All Show Less
- kayakkyle46
  
  +1 y
  Yup😉
- Rox95
  
  +1 y
  At least you know it..
Revolver_Ocelot
Xper 5

+1 y

lol sucks for you

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heclinybad Xper 3 · Accepted Answer

Someone stated that some people think it's fine to see other people when the relationship having issues and she right. Every time you always hear the relationship having issues the couple takes some time off and gets involved with someone else and it's so f***up they come back to their previous relationship after they have their fill. So you can say they want a break from you. So prepare yourself, hopefully he proves me wrong.

My boyfriend wants to take a break but won't tell me why?

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