Can't get her out of my mind?

So I dated this girl for 3 years loved her to death but in the middle lost sight and started cheating on her we broke up and its 5 years later now but I still think about her even when I'm trying not to think about her il dream about her it got so unhealthy I moved countries to move on but I can't influence what I dream about call them dreams or nightmares in them I'm always trying to approach her just to say hi but somehow she always manages to get away and we never actually speak every dream happens like that 5 years have passed I expected to be over this but I'm still here do I have a mental disorder what should I do? And before I get hate I made a mistake to cheat and because of that mistake we broke up but that doesn't mean I didn't love her if I didn't 5 years later i wouldn't be stuck on the same topic by the way she has no idea we just casually text once or twice a year
Can't get her out of my mind?
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