Should I step back from my husband?

It's a little bit of a lot of information and circumstances, but I will make it simple as best I can πŸ˜•πŸ˜. During his drunken moments his texts get too friendly with the ex, he's saying he still cares for her knowing that she wants him back (a big no no to tell anyone that is still emotionally attached, unfortunately especially a woman) he is always loud and like yells at me, I bring this to his attention, he tells me to stop crying πŸ€”. And stop doing things for him to yell, but I guess I do this all the time (oouch.. that hurtπŸ˜’) then in drunken moments he apologizes for that behavior because he said he knows he taking his pass issues out on meπŸ˜•. I work, he doesn't. I pay his child support, he doesn't. I'm tired of the secret conversation and message with one of the baby momma's (there's two) I just feel used and little abused. Paid his legal fees, about to pay for his license to be reinstated.πŸ˜• I'm not rich. I don't want him to go to jail. I still ditch out money to the kids on top of the child support through the state. (Together there's 12kids😯) I feel like I'm underappreciated sometimes πŸ€”πŸ˜” And he tells me I have nothing to worry bout with the baby momma, but we are married, you shouldn't be sneaky/secretive that puts doubt in people mind. I don't know. Am I being a drama queen or whining?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At girlsaskguys there is only 4 types of people. Insecure women who want attention, Children, lonely guys, and people who are new here.

    This is not exactly the best resource for advice on life changing decisions.

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    • Yeah. Just needed to vent as well. I don't have many friends, and my mom and sis are going through their own thing. Just wanted to vent and get feedback from people that don't know me personally and therefore can't judge me personally πŸ˜” don't get me wrong I'm not asking for opinions on divorce. I don't believe in divorce unless someone is cheating and there is proof. I'm just saying should I just step back, more so financially with the child support for kids he had before me. And if I should step back on putting my feeling and emotion too much in these situations. I don't want to push him away by accusing him or making him feel less than the king I believe he is. Just wanted to know if I need to step back and let him be the man I know he can be.. I don't know.. I guess it is crazy to ask other people for advice 😫

    • Well, you probably can't afford it because of all of the cash you are throwing around but a bit of couples therapy should help.

      The best way is to sit down CIVIL-ALLY and straight up discuss issues. Make an agreement to talk calm and nice... however it's naive to think you can change someone. They have to do it themselves.

    • Exactly. I know you can't change a person. They have to want to themselves. I think I'm too passive and nice to a fault. I just had someone ask me for$1,000 I believe that comes from me always being too giving, even towards my own husband..,πŸ€”idk. I really appreciate your help and input. I don't like to argue, or get loud. I shut down and get quiet πŸ˜’so... I'm just going to back up and take a breath and relax and clear my head, so hopefully there's no misunderstanding and then talk with him again with a more clear head

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't like the idea you're paying for his child support it's his job to take care of his kids he made with another not really yours and he need to cut back on drinking I think you should leave i would hate if i was in that situation he sounds manipulative ungrateful selfish and sneaky this is a big red flag he needs to pay for his own child support bills not you

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    • I'm not going to leave or divorce my husband. I don't believe in divorce unless he is cheating and there is proof. πŸ€” I'm going to pay this $200 for his child support before he goes back to court and I'm going to tell him I'm not paying it anymore. I don't like the sneaky stuff either, I thought about putting a app on his phoneπŸ€”but.. really. I already stooped low paying his child support, I'm not about under appreciate myself to do that, even if I want to know, I believe in you reap what you sow and what's done in the dark comes to the light. I'm just going to back up πŸ˜”

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Not at all, I think you're justified in how you feel. why doesn't he work? why are you paying his child support? fuck that. it definitely sounds like you're underappreciated and taken for granted. sounds like he needs to stop drinking.

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    • Thanks. I believe I am going to step back. Not a divorce, like I said I don't believe in that unless there's cheating and proof of it. But my instincts do bother me when it comes to him and one of his bms. I don't know if it's just me and because of that pass I feel that way. But so I don't confuse the two with my instincts. I think I just need to back up. I never believed that a real man would have his wife pay for his child support. I thought it was bad enough that the man felt less of man by not working, let alone having his significant other paying for kids he had before the marriage. I'm going to pay for his license in a few weeks, so hopefully he will find a place to work then. I'm hoping and praying.

  • That's a problem, for sure. I think he needs to cut back on the alcohol​ intake, because that seems to be the cause for a lot of problems

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    • Yes. He has said that and then he'll say I'm going to cut back or stop. Then before I know it we are back where we were. But they say a drunken tongue speaks the truth.πŸ€”

  • no you are not he doesn't appreciate you and is playing with your emotions

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    • I was hoping that the man that is my husband wouldn't be playing with my emotions, Because why marry me.πŸ˜•I mean he helps with the kids and around the house, but so do I. I know things/life isn't perfect. But it's nothing wrong with being happy ☺ I just want him to pull his weight and take some stress off me and not use drinking as a excuse to tap into his pass or whatever the hell he be doing. I don't know.. I'm backing back.

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    • Thanks.
      And thanks for your input.

    • no problem

  • Break up

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    • I'm married. Divorce is only a option if he's cheating and I have proof πŸ€”

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    • Thanks.
      Thanks for your honesty.

    • Honoured mam

What Girls Said 2

  • All of that is a huge problem. He's obviously a alcoholic and he doesn't appreciate you at all. My husband has child support but he works extra shifts in order to pay it and have extra money after bills. Yours seems like he doesn't care about you and he's using you to get what he wants. I personally wouldn't do it anymore. There are more responsible men out there who are willing to take care of you. All you have to do is find one.

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    • Yes, I wish he would be more responsible like your husband. Yes, after this$200 this week. I an done, sorry but done. I have to step back and allow him to be a man and take care of his own kids he had way before us.
      Thanks for your input.

    • You're welcome 😊

  • Time to call it a day and find somebody else you'll treat you better than that bastard does

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    • I'm in love with my husband though. I just think I need to back up and look at this situation and figure a way to get back on track πŸ€”

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