Ugh. So I feel like every time I've broken up with someone in the past it's felt fairly mutual and apparent it wasn't working so honesty has been fairly easy. I've been seeing someone for a few months, he's great in some aspects but the sex is crappy, he's somewhat of a complainer and he's financially irresponsible. I'm not wanting to sign up for that so my question is, do I tell him a portion of the true reasons which seems asshole like or do I tell him I'm getting back with my ex, becoming a lesbian or moving to Dubai or something? I think for me I'd want to be liked too but my girlfriends say that's not fair and he won't work on himself if I do that. Any advice out there? I truly think he's a nice guy and don't want to hurt his feelings, he is just not my guy. I'm 45, seems like should have my shit together...
Most Helpful Guy
Honesty is always best, but also be nice about it, not mean (ie don't tell him the sex is bad for example as a reason for breaking up with him). You can just say that "it's not working, I'm sorry". Details aren't important.
On the sex part of it though, have you tried working on this with him by communication? Telling him what you like, want, need and/or showing him so he can get better? Sex BECOMES great by getting to know each other and if you don't communicate, it doesn't just happen.1
Most Helpful Girl
hi and hhhmmm, well im not sure i agree with your friends its really not your responsibility to encourage his growth he's a grown man upto him? it depends on how you think he will take it whether he might try to convince you to hang on etc so personally if its done, i maybe wouldn't point out his behaviours that aren't to your tastes but encompass them in the sense he and you are not suited, you are definitely clear although he is a good guy he is not for you, the feelings are not there and its not just for either of you to continue, if you give reasons or complaints i feel this gives someone a way to try to reverse what you are trying to do and i dont think you want that? xx1