First proper ex boyfriend used me?

Alrighty so I've never really experienced being with a guy in any way until this guy. He got out of a serious but toxic relationship a few weeks before we started talking and such. I met him a year prior and always felt drawn to him and had a crush that I tried to forget considering he was dating. Anyway he came to me when they broke up.. over the course of a few weeks we got close and we started dating. I absolutely adored him even though he treated me like crap with his weird mood swings and accused me of seeking attention when speaking with my guy friends so I pushed pretty much every guy away even my best friend who is this guys best friend too. He was my first proper kiss and the first guy I had ever let really see my body and such. Anyway he dumped me a few weeks in (short lived I know) because he needed to "fix himself before he could commit to me 100%" then proceeded to spend the day with my two best friends. I made excuses and we continued talking even though I was completely heartbroken I tried to forget how bad he hurt me. A week after the breakup (we'd still message and tell eachother "I love you" etc) we skipped class and went to the beach like we used to when we were dating and I let him finger me (which was the first time someone had touched me like that and I'm incredibly insecure) and I sucked his dick... classy I know. After him hurting me so badly I shouldn't have done it I guess I thought he'd love me more which is so stupid. A few days after I found out he was talking to a bunch of girls and snapped and told him to get fucked. He always stressed about loyalty being so important to him and proceeded to be unloyal to me. I'm in a lot of pain at the moment and through this whole thing I lost some of my closest friends (one to his ex girlfriend whom he is "friends" with) I'm just not sure what to do.. I guess I needed a vent aha. Opinions?


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  • You've learnt your lesson. You are fine

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