Am I wrong for feeling used and disrespected? Am I wrong for not wanting to be with him anymore?

Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for 3years now I'm 25 and he's 31 with two kids he had with other women before us of course so when we first got together I explained to him that I was going through a lot of stress due to the death of my mother I also told him my father was never in my life and my family treats me like shit so one of the most important things to me is building my own family I told him I wanted a child around the age of 27 just to make things clear for him in the beginning so since we've been together I've been helping him raise his kids one of them I became like a full time step mother too because I left my job and decided to help him with his kids anyway now that we're three years in he's been talking about how he doesn't want anymore kids to others and he's told me which makes my blood boil because he knew from day one I wanted my own child he says me wanting a child a 27 puts a lot of pressure on him and I can understand that I doesn't have to be as soon as I turn 27 but for him to say he doesn't want anymore period after I've help him with the ones he already has is a real slap in the face... what am I suppose to do raise other women's kids for the rest of my life? I feel like he doesn't care about my feelings so I broke up with him... what do you guys think?


0|0
44

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are young and don't waste time on that...

    I know being a woman you want a child of your own that will complete you...

    But raising someone else's with the desire of having your own is not going to help anyone..

    It ll be going to get worse by time and hopefully you ll start hating those kids or may think they are the reason of you not having your own child...

    So in short
    For a better good. It is better to move on and find a single guy ( not a divorced or separated guy )

    And try to remain positive
    Don't feel it like being used

    Having a kid without having it's father together is I think what would be the best example of being used

    Consider this as a fun relationship and move on with a positive experience...

    We don't live twice so never let negativity and regret over come you

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I can understand your frustration. I'd feel really used and disrespected as well. If he wasn't happy with you wanting kids, he should've told you from Day 1 instead of fucking LEADING YOU ON. That's selfish of him. I don't care if other people tell you you're being the selfish one here but I honestly think you should leave
    him. he's the one who didn't zip his fucking pants with other women and now has expecting some other woman to take on the "burden" I'm sorry but you're better off without this asshole.

    1|0
    0|0
    • From day one he was saying he wasn't sure but the further we got into the relationship it came up and he said once we got on our feet we could have a kid this shit is just so frustrating considering he knows everything I've been through he knows I've been hurt but everyone I've ever cared about so for him to turn around n break my heart like that is probably one of the most fucked a things a guy has done

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You did right

    1|0
    0|0
  • I mean you're not wrong... but would you rather he'd had a kid with you just out of respect? Having a kid is such a huge step so if both sides aren't in 100% then the safe option is to hold off until they are. If you view it as a sort of "you owe me" situation then it doesn't sound like it was the right time for a child anyway. For me, if I truly loved someone and they weren't ready for a child then id just accept that. So if having a kid is more important than your love for him then yes, I think breaking up was the best option.

    0|0
    0|0
    • It's not about him not being ready cause that's not what he said hell im not ready so that's not the point he said "He doesn't want anymore kids" period so at that point it doesn't matter how much I love him I not trying to be a step mom the rest of my day life

    • Well if having kids is more important than your relationship with him then I feel like you already have your answer. Another solution would be to try not to view them as his kids and instead view them as your kids too. People change and so while he may have promised to one day have kids, he can't help it if now he doesn't feel like something he wants/is capable of doing

  • You're absolutely right.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I agree with you, but I maybe would have tried to persuade him

    1|0
    0|0
    • I just kept telling him how important it is to me but I guess I just have to take this L

    • Yeah if he won't compromise and you know you won't be happy, you have to ultimately put yourself first! Good on you being brave enough to do that

  • You guys don't have the same goals in life so you made the right choice to breakup. He doesn't want anymore kids and you want biological kids. Neither of you were in the wrong, you're just not the right fit for each other.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So now he's saying that he never said he didn't want anymore period he just isn't ready for one right now but neither am I so I don't understand why he was talking about it to begin with I'm 25 I said 27 that's two more years hell 28 will be fine too but I don't want to sit around hoping just to waste my time

  • U did right. U have ever right to have a child of your own

    1|0
    0|0
    • This definitely hurts to let go but i have nothing of my own and if I can have my own kid that's a deal breaker worst part is now I don't ever want to give another man my heat trust or loyalty

    • Don't let one guy shape your future relationships. There will be a guy who would want to have a family with you. Keep ur chin up lady

Loading... ;