Should I just leave my husband?

I know this a decision I need to make on my own. I just want some advice or input. We have been married for 3 years now and we have been together for 8 years. We're a young couple. I don't want to throw 8 years away. Last year I began to be unhappy and I'm still not happy in our marriage. I've told him I'm not happy. I've always done everything for him. I literally built my life Around him. I'm always stuck at home. I have to ask permission to go anywhere. He doesn't like me visiting family or being with friends. He wouldn't even let me go to my best friends husbands funeral. When I ask for a little bit of money to go somewhere he says I don't need it or when I say I want a job he says I don't need one. I don't know what to do anymore. He has put his hands on me in the past. Last year he threw a cellphone at my face and broke my tooth. He hollers at me all the time. I couldn't take it nomore so I Up and left this past weekend to get some space which I'm back now. That was my first time doing that. While I was gone he was calling my mom and calling me crying saying he's going through hell cause I'm gone. And even when I came back after 4 days he acted like he didn't want me here. He was giving me silent treatment. I don't know. I'm so confused. It's driving me crazy. My car is messed up. We have to jump it off to go anywhere. He had the money to fix it but instead he went out and bought $270 worth of hunting stuff. I love him and I care about him but I just don't want to be married anymore. No I'm not cheating on him or anything. I did have depression last year. I was taking medication but I stopped.


0|0
414

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • 68.media.tumblr.com/.../...18zPF61uea2edo1_500.gif

    He is the overly controlling man the devalues women and sees them as property. It's time to go. He's clipped your wings and took your freedom. It's time to fly.

    1|0
    0|0
    • He treats me like a maid sometimes. Telling me to get this or get that. He hasn't ever fixed his own plate. I guess I'm just fed up with it all

  • What you are in right now is what they call a toxic relationship. Relationships are meant to be healthy, uplifting, fun, supportive, respecting... All of which doesn't closely apply to your marriage.

    If i understand correctly, your husband has taken you for granted and as something he has ownership over. A marriage is a partnership, not an employment.

    Your marriage has gotten to the point where it's more about - what your husband likes and dislikes, what hurts him and what doesn't, what's expected of you and what isn't.
    Well what about what you desire? What about what makes you happy and feel safe? What about his responsibilities to his wife that he swore at the marriage pedestal? Are those supposed to be some dialogues to get through the marriage formalities?

    Conclusion: As others have also stated, please remember you only get to live one life, I don't know how it was in the beginning of those 8 years, but now you're just wasting it in the service of a man who clearly doesn't appreciate you or cares about the happiness in your days. When was the last time you had a kiss that fell your eyes closed and your knees weak? Long time ago I reckon.

    You have made your share of efforts in your marriage. There is nothing you need to regret about. You have reached the end of the road and to go further you need to walk back and take a different route.

    Hope you find the courage to believe that you deserve to be happy, because that's the biggest thing that stops everyone from actually doing the things that make them happy.

    Take care, god bless.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you so much for your input. I agree. I guess I've always been the one to put his needs before my own.

    • Show All
    • Selfish is a word people use against people who do not work for their purpose. Had you been a selfish person, your husband would have been the one posting this question. :)

    • True

  • It isn't you it's him. He's very controlling and it will never change so you have a decision

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yes he's very controlling. He says he will change and all this mess. I have talked to a guy behind his back before but it was just casual talking to see what each other was up to. We went to school together. He did find out about it and flipped out. He took my phones and my laptop from me and left me here with nothing. I get treated like a kid sometimes and a maid. He wonders why I'm not happy

  • If you stay you're just throwing more good years away because you don't want to lose the eight years you've spent, but you have to realize those years are already spent. They're gone. It's the future ones you need to save.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I believe in marriage being a sacred thing of life. Even after reading all the things you wrote, I would suggest for a couple's therapy or counselling. If everything fails then leaving your husband is a right thing to do.

    1|1
    0|0
  • My question is why did you marry this guy to begin with? Sounds like an asshole who you could have easily predicted this behavior. Leave him and don't make the same mistake again

    1|0
    0|0
    • He wasn't like this at first.

    • They never are, that's why you need to learn what motivates people. Only then can you decipher them

  • Mental, emotional, physical, and financial abuse? Gtfo

    1|1
    0|0
  • Anonymous, leave.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Leave that SOB. You don't deserve how he's treating you, and he doesn't deserve you. Just leave him, and get your happiness back

    1|0
    0|0
  • You need to get out of that situation

    1|0
    0|0
  • An abusive relationship only gets worse. He is abusive in many ways. Sometimes it is much better to leave than to remain and eventually end up dead or worse. The final decision must be yours though.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you should talk to him about this. Ending a relationship you saved for past 8years is just Waste
    Think positive and make a Living. Dream come.

    1|0
    0|0
  • DUMP HIS ASS.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I don't want to interfere in your life but if I was in your situation I first try to talk it out and still it's not working I will leave for greater good

    1|0
    0|0
    • We've been talking it out for the past 3 days. He makes me feel bad like guilty so I don't know

What Girls Said 4

  • He sounds abusive, or he's definitely getting there. I would leave before it gets worse. Best not to waste any more time with someone who doesn't really care about you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • He used to be abusive. I've been body slammed in the floor, and hit on my arms and legs. He hasn't touched in almost a year now though.

  • If you've discussed your unhappiness with him and he's dismissed it, thats pretty shitty of him.
    Maybe talk to him about couples therapy? Let him that this is your last resort, you're at wits end. If he has no interest in trying to solve your problems, then I would personally consider seriously leaving.

    1|0
    0|0
    • He said he will do his best to make me happy

    • Then tell him couples therapy would make you happy

  • You need to get the hell out of there now. It will only get worse and harder to leave. Don't regret that you are giving up those 8 years - rejoice that you are still young and have a second chance to make a different life for yourself. Don't EVER depend on a man for income. Even if he has plenty. Get an education and a job - you will never regret that.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I got an education and I did have a job but somehow he ended up using my car and now it's messed up so I'm having to sit at home. I do not want to depend on anyone

    • Then why are you? You have choices.

  • You need to leave that horrible situation as soon as possible. I'm all for giving people chances but not when they consistently behave like as assehole. He only thinks about himself. He is very damaged and unless you want the same merry-go-round then move on. Break free from this prison you are existing in, get out and give yourself a shot and laughing out loud... there will be other decent men out there... at least a few billion of them, you never know where you could meet your happiness but you do know that you are miserable right now. Change that. Good luck.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm the one who gets accused of thinking of only themselves

Loading...