Career and love, which one is more important to men?

I and my boyfriend broke up because he wants to focus on his career. He starts from zero so he must try so hard, he also works far away from me so he can't take care of me. I was very sad and angry. I know career is very important to a man, but I hope I can be with him in the hard time. Do you guys feel sad when give up on love and choose career? Should I let him focus on his career and reconnect with him in the right time?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on the guy. There's no generalization. Having said that, a career is very important. So your feelings of sad is normal and understandable, but don't be angry. Just be there for and with him when you can. It won't be like this forever. Tell yourself he's doing it for us and our future. Now, you've already broken up (was this your doing/decision?), so it might be too late. But if you really want to be with him, just talk to him and explain you over reacted. You can still be together now, you just have to accept that you may not get as much time with him as you'd like to have... right now. He needs to focus on his career as well, but doesn't mean he can't still have some kind of relationship with you as well.

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    • Thank you, when he told me that I may tried to be with other men, he wanted to focus on himself because he worried he couldn't take care of me in the future. Although I know it's normal if he worries because he's in a hard time right now, but I was so angry, I feel like he wants to throw me away. So angry and I asked him for breaking up, seemed like he thought carefully and then agreed.
      I'm so sad, I just wonder does he feel sad like me when he give up on me, because I don't meet him and he also says nothing after the breaking up.

    • Well I can't say this is the case for sure, but he's probably just stressed and you're adding to that stress. I've been in his situation and also broke up with my girlfriend for this same reason. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her, I was just stressed and she was making it worse so to take the pressure off, breaking up was the "easiest" and fastest way to "fix it". Just stress and frustration.

    • Maybe I over acted, as you say. But now we have broken up, I want to reconnect and say sorry to him, I don't want to lose a love, do you think he will accept when everything is better?

What Guys Said 23

  • Traditional role of men being breadwinner of the family has left guys to worry about career a lot. Although this perspective has changed now, still, when you think of long term goals, one would always like to have a family that they can providr for. This leads majority to pick career before love.

    And , it does not help either that, many guys have grown up watching families get torn apart over financial issues.

    And personally, I would also pick career over love.

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    • Thanks for your opinion, I hate my boyfriend so much when he pick career but not me, I assume he's a bad guy, but now I need to respect his choice.

    • To be honest, at tour age, most men would do the same. Only after 35 , 30, when they have enough stability, they would think about love.

  • It's a priority for me to be able to provide for my family. If I didn't have a job I wouldn't want a relationship until I could provide though I care about the person far more than about wealth or financial success.

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  • career is there to improve my love life. i work to make money to be able to spend it with my family. i am not the type that gives career priority over love or family, though it will ensure more business success and more money, these factors are not my priority in life as they do come at a high cost. id say a balance between both is the best idea.

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  • Both play a significant part in life. Usually though it may be best for the career option to be pursued first. But with life things can go either way, either or..

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  • A grown-up man can have both.

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  • Career a woman is only loyal as her options.

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  • Oh sure, we can feel sad over lost love but guys tend to be far FAR more career focused. I know men who have given up everything for the sake of their career aspirations.

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    • Guys and girls are so different. My friends tell me if he picks career, it means he doesn't love me. I wonder does he love me so many times and if he loves me, why does he leave. Now I understand it's not truth that he doesn't love me or he doesn't feel sad after the break up, thank you

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    • That's why I say guys and girls are so different lol. Some of my girlfriends try to convince me he's a bad guy when he leaves me, and I'm so sad when think about it. After the break up, he tries to avoid me just like I mean nothing to him, it really makes me hurt

    • Well u know life sucks just try to make the best out of it

  • Right now love, because I've never known it and work is miserable

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  • honestly speaking, both are important to me

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  • Career, because they are good in career , Love would be around them automatically

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  • Career oa always morw inprtant than love. You always gotta put your self first

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  • Love only if it is supporting my career... If not supportive... only career

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  • He didn't feel you where worth it, fuck him. Don't wait on a man who won't wait for you every girl deserves that guy who puts them first

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  • Both just depends on at what point in my life lol

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  • Every guy is different but for the most part they should go hand in hand. Usually a guy needs to put his work first so he can take care of his woman but he should always love the girl more

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  • Well, both can be lost, but I guess love is harder to find.

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  • Changes from person to person

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  • Career. But I am a psychopath so I have no value for love

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  • It depends on man to man

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  • I'm at a point in my life where it's a 50-50 split

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  • Depends. If I finally get my dream job, I know I'd never give it up or compromise.

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  • Before career later love

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  • How long have you been together?

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    • We had been friend for 1 year and in love for 6 months.

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    • The problem for me is this! Now he is young and his ego will never allow him to be happy like this.. but if you were 10 years older, you would not have this problem

    • Hey sister I would like here your love story in detail

What Girls Said 3

  • People only feel they need to give up one for the other if they conflict. It's not impossible to have both love and a career when your partner understands and is willing to work with the free time you do have rather then focusing on what you don't.

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    • Thanks. There are some complex problems between us and I can not describe clearly here, but now it's really a hard time for him in his job. I just wonder can I reconnect with him when everything is better

  • Right now Career until the right man appears and then It will probably be both : Career and love.

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  • Even as a girl, career is more important to me.

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