Should we stay as friends after breakup?

My boyfriend told me that he's in love with someone else and he wants to be honest with me about his feelings. He still wanna stay in my life as a close friend... I didn't say anything and just walked away from him, should I say yes.. to being friends again? At least he's honest with me, but I'm emotionally hurt.Should we stay as friends after breakup??


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh geeze. I am SO SORRY that happened to you, especially since you were posting questions about him just a few days ago.
    It really depends on how YOU feel inside. I know a lot of couples have broken up and remained friends. I've personally cut off all contact with my exes, because if we had issues as couples I knew we would have issues as friends. It's up to you. If you feel you can still remain friends without arguing I would do it. But if you think you'll argue I would just let it go.

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    • We never argued about anything but I'm not sure I'm ready to see him with someone else right now. He was my best friend before getting into a relationship... I don't know how I feel about anything anymore to be honest.

    • Let me tell you something, and you can think whatever you want of me BUT, I developed a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't control my feelings. Every time she would talk about him or post pictures of them together, I wanted to cry.
      My second crush after her was single, but it also hurt me when I saw her giving better attention to other guys.
      You are right that seeing him with someone else will hurt A LOT. It's probably best if you don't contact him for at least a few weeks. I am SO SORRY this happened to you. But there are other guys out there. One thing I like to do if I get dumped or rejected is forget everything you LOVED about him, and start making a list of everything that was WRONG with him. You'll develop the impression that he wasn't that great, and it'll help you get over him quickly. I wish you the best. I sincerely do. Maybe hang out with your girlfriends to get your mind off him.

    • This is a really great idea... Thanks for helping me. I'll call up my friends today and I'll write down the things I hate about him... honestly have few but I hope this works!

Most Helpful Girl

  • hell no. he's doing to keep you in the back burner. plan b when the grass on the other side isn't greener after all. please do not fall for this shit

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • Here are some guidelines to help steer you in the right direction if you decide to remain friends after a break up.

    1. Have an honest conversation.

    If you have decided to remain friends, it’s important to make sure that you are both on the same page. Once you’ve decided to end the relationship, sit down and have an honest heart-to-heart talk.

    Is there a future? What do you both want that future to look like? Friendship after a breakup is only possible if that’s what both parties want. You can’t force an ex into being friends. If being friends is not possible, respect the decision and move on.

    2. Know the boundaries.

    Sometimes being friends after a breakup is easier in theory than it is in practice. That is why it is imperative to set boundaries and stick to them.

    Will you still feel the warm glow of friendship after the first time you see your ex dating someone new? It’s important to let the past be the past and move forward. You can’t keep rehashing the old arguments that doomed the relationship in the first place.

    You also can’t cross back over the line and start cuddling, kissing, or even holding hands. Things like that may seem small at the time, but they can lead to confusion and heartache. It’s time to establish a new baseline and not confuse what you have with what you had.

    3. Ignore other people who tell you it’s wrong.

    People may question your decision to remain friends with your ex, and their concerns may have some validity. After all, they were the ones listening to the late night phone calls and consoling you over the Ben and Jerry’s while you told them how much you hated him.

    Still, this is a personal decision. You can take their advice into account, but if you think you can still be friends then it’s up to you. Telling those concerned that you can still be friends with your ex is one thing, demonstrating it will be better.

    4. Take it slow.

    Being friends after a breakup is a little different than going out with the girls or chatting with other acquaintances. Often times it’s faced with trust issues and must be approached slowly. Start with the occasional phone call or email. Once that becomes comfortable, move into face-to-face meetings once in a while for coffee.

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    • 5. Be realistic about what’s involved and know that it might not work.

      While it’s commendable to try and make it work, the reality is some exes aren’t able to move past the underlying cause of their breakup. Sometimes trying to be friends is really just a mask for not being able to let go.

      Be willing to put the work into the friendship, but also be realistic and know you both have some obstacles to overcome. If it really is just sad or frustrating to be around your ex, it may be time to say goodbye for real.

      The takeaway from all of this is that for some people, it can be possible to be friends after ending a relationship. Sometimes things turn out differently that we thought, but sometimes we get lucky and it ends up being even better than the old way.

      In fact, many exes who now have strong friendships with each other, will even tell you that breaking up was the best thing to happen to them because they are much happier as friends than they were as lovers.

    • frustrating to be around your ex, it may be time to say goodbye for real.

      The takeaway from all of this is that for some people, it can be possible to be friends after ending a relationship. Sometimes things turn out differently that we thought, but sometimes we get lucky and it ends up being even better than the old way.

      In fact, many exes who now have strong friendships with each other, will even tell you that breaking up was the best thing to happen to them because they are much happier as friends than they were as lovers.

    • *ignore last reply.
      Typo Error. 😊

      Hope it helps.

  • No there's no point in being friends. After he tells you there's someone else he loves he doesn't love her he likes something else about her. I've been head over heels about a girl before. At that time no 1 else could be better. I loved spending my entire time with her. She was getting in the way of my love for football. I literally gave up all my college scouts. I wasn't thinking of anything but spending more and more time with the girl I loved.
    After we had our confusing no contest breakup we weren't allowed to talk to each other. Our parents didn't want us together.

    I tried taking some hotter girls out that really liked me, made custom jerseys with my # and last name. Some made shirts and sold them they were really into my football career. Some girls I should've just stayed together with, but i stayed friends with the ex.
    Even the sex was the best. After having your coaches and teammates try to tell you whats better for you and you still don't listen you have to listen to them. You can get hurt by being friends with your past thinking they need you. Even if they do you have to get away quick.
    He shouldn't like anyone else until he has a real reason that proves he's not hurting you. Don't let him near your friends. Let your friends do whats right, they should know by the way he talks to them.

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  • Depends on how you feel about it. It's your choice.

    Me? I wouldn't do it. Once you're a couple your relationship has passed the friends stage, going back is like having a cake and saying: I don't like it I want the ingredients back. It's just not possible.

    Besides staying "friends" leaves a emotional thread of hope in the person that was broken up with and that is not fair. If you broke up you have the right to heal and move on

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  • Didn't he thought once what would u felt after getting hurt, will u be smiling seeing him with someone else and to stay with him as friend to whome u loved... I don't think so... it will all time make u hurt bcz u may have feeling, from which he has passed and moved on...

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  • I say if you were friends before it is ok in some cases. But it could spark unhealty on and off again thing. Also evan tho people seem to be ok with moving on and dating another people it does not seem to work a lot. Evan friends with benefits have short comings as one person always hopes for a relationship.

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  • Take your time with this, but if you still do want them in your life that way then accept it

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  • It depends, do you actually want to be friends without that emotional connection?

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    • I'm not sure how I feel about anything anymore... I didn't saw this coming, I thought everything was fine between us... he was my best friend before relationship and technically he didn't cheated...

    • I mean to distance yourself doesn't mean you hate him or that he's bad, just that it's too painful to stay near

  • This happenwd to me too and i wanted to be friends with my ex but she didn't and Ps. She wanted to breakup

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  • If he didn't appreciate you.. u shouldn't cuz everytime you will talk with him you will feel like a dagger in ur heart thats if u still hv emotions towards him

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  • Its only what matters to u

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  • Move on... You don't need to watch him with another woman.

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  • Not viable for the moment, perhaps after u prosses ur own feelings. I think

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  • maybe

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  • Depends tbh

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  • he didn't cheated you so u should say yes

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  • You don't need to be friends with your ex. It complicates things.

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What Girls Said 4

  • NOOO do you really wanna watch him fall in love with someone else? Watch him do all the things he did with you but he's doing them with another girl?

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  • Move on.

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  • Maybe you should

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  • If you fel like it

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