Ladies, am I pathetic for holding on to a woman who doesn't want to be held on to?

My ex of two years left me about two months ago. For no apparent reason other than "I'm tired of showing you where I'm going and been, it's too much" which in fact I didn't press her about it. We went through a break up before, our first major one, and I was crushed! We didn't speak for a good month. But she came back. This time, I get a different feeling. Mind you, I won't sit here and say I was the best boyfriend because I wasn't. I had a bad attitude problem and a temper. There's thing I wish I didn't say nor do. But now that's she's gone, I can't stop thinking of her. And the part that kills me the most is, I don't even think she cares to even begin to think of me as a thought or after thought, period. She's hitting the gym, losing weight, enjoying life. And I'm scared to get on instagram because of her captions and the fear that I might see her with another guy. People tell me to change my mind but it's hard. When I lay down at night all I could think about is her. Another thing that kills me is, she can go so long without talking to me. I know it's over but fuck, why do you wanna detach yourself like that? No friendship, no "hey just checking on you" no nothing. I know she's happy without me, I can't get out of my own way smh. Ladies, can you help me please?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well it was 2 months ago, not 2 years so no, you are not pathetic. You loved her and thats not going to go away over night. Obviously though, you loved her more than she loved you and maybe she was never in as deep as you were. It’s life. Allow yourself to grieve and miss her because it’s life. You’re human and you’re definitely allowed to have feelings. You’re doing good with staying off of her social media because 9/10, you will eventually see something that will hurt you and you’ll obsess over it.

    Not everybody wants to be friends after a breakup. It’s basically bullshit where feelings are played with, one gets their hopes up for more while the other has no intentions on ever being with that person again, etc.

    • Yeah, that's the unfortunate part. I think I'm hurting also is because, she was a great woman. And all the little things that made me smile, she's gonna give to someone else. That stings. But you're right, some people just don't want to be friends. I didn't but it's hard not to want to call her, but seeing how she can go months just lets me know she's over it. I hate this love thing smh

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