Ex is talking to his ex again and they're both hanging out with my friends?

So this guy I dated for not very long (we did things and he's my first proper boyfriend, it was important to me) had gotten out of a 2 year relationship and started dating me. The girl was very upset and I understand. So we dated and then he dumped me and wanted to fix himself or whatever. I was really hurt but we still kind of acted like we were together still and we did things together that I've never done before. Then I found out he was talking to other girls and I snapped and told him "if you want loyalty try being fucking loyal yourself, you self righteous fuck". He always stressed that I'd cheat on him and I wasn't loyal but I pushed all my guy friends away to make him feel better and gain his trust and I had to trust him or he'd get mad. Anyway, since I said that to him I ignored his messages. I haven't gotten a message in a week or spoken to him. He's hanging around my friends and his ex is best friends with my old best friend and it's really awkward. Do I "keep my friends close and my enemies closer" ? Or avoid it? Was what he did wrong? It's all so confusing and draining and I feel so empty now. I lost my friends and the guy I loved is the biggest asshole. Fuck.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think the problem here is you had already broken up. You guys stayed as friends from the way you wrote your question/ opinion. You have strong feelings for him it seems. Which is why you cursed. Anytime a guy stresses a girl is cheating it's generally the other way round. From my experience of speaking to girl friends they have been accused of cheating but when the turned the question around the guy was founded guilty. If you have doubt and it's making you unhappy I would suggest cutting him out of yo

    • Your life. What's the point of suffering. Enjoy and embrace life. You'll find someone who values you for who you are.

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    • You didn't answer my question, when you were in a relationship did you meet with this guy friend?

    • Not out of school no. I even pushed him away

What Girls Said 1

  • Okay, well... let’s start with him being your first “real boyfriend” don’t hold him to this high ass and special standard just because he was the first. I made this mistake last year and was miserable for a long time because I didn’t want to let go. We did the same thing acting like friends, saying he cared, etc. From that, I learned the hard way that being friends with an ex ESPECIALLY when feelings are involved is basically just a band-aid to make you feel better that you’re going to have ripped off eventually. Keeping an ex around doesn’t last forever because y’all will meet new people and will have interest in someone else and obviously you can’t keep an ex around while pursuing a new relationship. With you getting upset with your ex talking about loyalty... he owes you none because y’all aren't together so in that case, you were wrong. You just need to let it go. He can hang with whomever he wants no matter if they’re your friends. If your uncomfortable with it, keep your distance

    • I know we weren't dating but the issue was that he still acted like we were. He told me he loved me the same and held me the same and always claimed that we were made for eachother and we'd one day have kids (that's a long shot I know) and the band aid thing is true and thank you for that, it makes total sense. The affection only made it worse afterwards because it made me feel like he did care when really, he didn't. I'm just trying to get over him and improve myself but it's so hard when I have to see him all the time. I let him into my friendship group because he had nothing and now they all like him and don't understand how badly he hurt me...

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