So where did I go wrong?

well this is my 3rd time i get dumped for the same anwser "you're a great person but i dont see us together enymore" and a week or so after they are with a diferent guy i dont really understand...

sure i'm not the greatest looking guy but i am dicente looking im not the smartest but i still have my strong and week spots i am a web/game developer but i dont spend 24/7 in front of my pc coding if i am in a relationship i devote my time on that but i normally put important stuff first than other stuff for example, work comes first than enything else even if im in a relationship but the relationship comes first on my spare time like weekends or so, im not that rich too im well payed but i save up most of it because i have big dreams and i do the possible to make her happy take to a movie now and then i normally do new stuff i dont repeat it and i always try to be creative and romantice, i always apoligise if i do something wrong because sure no relationship is perfect, idont do drugs or stuff like that only smoke so i dont really get what i do wrong :/ there's more to me than just that i just resumed it but im not violante i actually perfer staying away from a fight but if time is in need ill do it normaly on self defence or a friend in need... but enyways if you have a clue or a opiniao or just questions please replay.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you've just not found the right person to go after. From what you've written, it sounds like you have your life together thus far, you have dreams, future plans, and you prioritize your employment over anything else in your life, with the exception of your free time of course.
    I think you're attracting the wrong girls for you. Since this is the third time it happened, maybe it's best to give yourself a break from the dating world for a while and get some of your own personal goals / interests started.
    I am no professional in dating, but I do know that now a days there are a lot of standards and needs, and maybe since you place your employment so high in your life, that these ladies feel that you value your job more so than them. Feeling important is a huge factor in a relationship, and from the sounds of it you do give time to those you're dating, but i don't think the people you have dated understood why your job comes first. Maybe they felt you weren't interested in relationship as you're more connected to your own work? Maybe they feel inadiquate or feel the time you give them just isn't enough for that person, and they move onto find someone better suited to them. Who knows, there could be tons of reasons but the most important is you cannot keep chasing and trying to make love work if you're the only one putting effort into it.
    The girls you've dated may not have been fully into a long term relationship. Maybe they wanted to test the waters with you and see if you were compatible, but differences may have been too much.

    I think you should take a break. Do your own thing, give your heart a rest and in the mean time try seeking girls around your work or the places you spend time out. Just look for friends right now, female friends to help you get a better understanding of the different personalities, wants, needs, etc. and hopefully it'l help you find the perfect girl you're seeking!

    Also, don't place the blame on yourself for things not working. What you wrote sounds sensible to me, and jobs are important. If those girls couldn't respect that, it's their loss. Plus, 1-3 weeks is hardly giving you a chance at all! They sound like they were all quick to judge and never even gave you an opportunity to show them their significance in your life.

    I hope the best for you. Take time and keep moving forward. Dating is only worth it if two parties are willing to make it work, don't feel like this is all on you. It's not!
    Good luck!

    • wow im speatchless, i wasn't expecting someone writing this much for me, well first of all i want to really thank you for putting so much effort on this it really means so much to me and yes i know i shouldn't be chasing after love, i know love can hurt more than a bullet to the chest sometimes but we can say i am a stuborn guy i find love really interesting and awesome at the same time so if thats the price for risking i can accepted it, I like to risk a lot if i find thing worth it and i dont complain because why should i? after all it was i that choose to do it you could say im a love bird too is that kind of person that has there own reason for loving and really likes it i do put apart differences and i respect that a lot i always give my opinions even if im kind of right or wrong but what i do is try to show my point of view, yes they dont give me much time to show them, i dont really get mad im just simple confused because i try my best and i am kind and all of that

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    • You're very welcome, I figured i'd give you the best advice I could as I have been in your situation before too. I felt that same "empty" feeling, and though I'm not pro in the love department I know there's a lot that comes with it. Some things good, and some bad, and lots of confusion too at times.
      I hope you're able to give yourself time to start fresh. Focusing on yourself may help you too, as learning to be happy with yourself alone, makes a relationship even more amazing when you find the next one, because it helps you search for a specific type of person and will give you more ideas suited to match your own lifestyle and yourself. :) You never know but life has odd ways of bringing people around. For example, my cousin met her fiance at a bus stop years ago, and I met my boyfriend during the first day of school. So keep your heart on your sleeve and show the world who you are and what you have to offer as a person. You may meet someone sooner than you think!
      Best of luck :)

    • thank you again ill try my best

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