How do you know if your ex genuinely wants to be friends?

someone else asked this but I'm asking in a different way. how do you know he's just keeping you around (not as booty call necessarily) but just as backup girl when things don't work out, he has you ... how do you know he's really over the relationship and truly wants friendship? or if he's playing some control game and really wants you back but playing hard to get? true story. no joke. not saying I want him back, but, I am also curious if guys TRULY like having their exes as and friends and WHY.

Updates:
sorry for typo

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i am in the same boat I want my ex back she has told me all kinds of things but I know she's seeing someone else..no how I feel she just wants to keep me there as back up. she know I want her back and has told me the best way is to just be her friend right now and that she does not want a boyfriend right now. She is allways calling me asking what I am doing she will come over for a little bit and then leaves. Now here is my thing if she doesn't want to be with me and knows I still want her then why does she come around? I think once your involved with someone it is too much to try to just be friends thoese feelings will allways be there and one of you will be jealous at the other and visa a versa at different times. I don't want my ex as a friend I either want to be with her or I don't want to hang around her say hi every once in a while is OK but that is it. Now at the same time there are the feelings of true love so that tends to mess with not pushing them away completely. Just me and my feelings about what I am going through. any advice it would be great.

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    • I'm not sure how that answers my question but I do hope you can feel better knowing you're not alone. sorry for you.. and my ex claims there is no one else...... so it's confusing.. please read my reply to the girl answer below for more details.

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What Guys Said 1

  • i would have to say to keep you there in case.

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    • That's what I think.... not cool.

What Girls Said 1

  • He doesn't want a friendship. He wants a bootycall. Plain and simple. Promise.

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    • I agree he doesn't want only friendship. but we are LDR. it's not like bootycall is around the corner.. he could meet someone else. there would be no reason to hold onto me.. he is overseas. so what do you think now? do you think it's possible he didn't want to end it and is holding onto me for backup only...... (he claims he is not seeing anyone).. and somehow with his pathetic life I believe him. it really doesn't matter now if he is or not. the point was why would he stay connected 2 me

    • You gotta get away from him. You have to end it. And somehow, when YOU take the initative to end it, you find that it's easier because YOU did it. It's not as bad when you're the one ending it, where as someone breaking up with you hurts more. You already know it isn't going to go anywhere...so be the stronger person and cut all ties.

    • Thanks, I'm really trying to do so. he just doesn't seem to get it. I told him again today to move on, (since he was the one that wanted to.)

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