Why does my ex continue to talk bad about me even if I don’t do anything to him?

he hates me sooo much but I didn’t do anything for us to break up. and it been almost two months since our breakup.


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What Guys Said 19

  • There are some possibilities here. Im going through the SAME shit. This is in order of possibility. Number one is most likely:

    1. He is still in love with you but in denial because you hurt his feelings
    2. He broke up with prematurely without thinking it through. Now he regrets it but is scared or hurt
    3. You have a good reputation.. even among his friends. Most likely people like you. They think you are a good person. So he is trying to save face and justify why he hates you so he doesn't feel stupid.
    4. He is simply hurt and in a lot of pain. He may mean it when he says he hated you. But that represents a moment and not forever.

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  • He broke up with you but that does not mean that he doesn't feel hurt. I broke up with a girlfriend 4 months ago because I knew she would never feel the same way about me that I feel about her and I want a girlfriend who really, really wants to be with me. I still feel some hurt about that relationship.

    Maybe friends convinced him to break up with you, maybe it was his decision and he now thinks it was a mistake, or maybe he blames you for whatever reason he thought required the break up. Whatever the reason. . . he is trash talking you now as a means of punishing you and convincing himself that he was morally right for breaking up with you. (Maybe he cheated on you and is convincing himself that you "deserved" to be cheated on."

    What do you want from him now? In your innermost heart. . . not worrying about what your family or friends would say about your decision. . . do you wish that you two were back together?

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    • yeah i do..

    • If you want him back in your life, you need to understand why you broke up and whether you will encounter the same problem if you get back together.

      If that is what you really want, I think you should take the bull by the horns. Ask him if you two can talk somewhere private, then tell him how you feel. It may not work but at least you will know that you gave it your best shot and maybe then, you can put this to rest.

  • Immaturity on his part. He is blaming you for things that you are not responsible for. I wouldn't worry too much about him talking bad about you. I'd imagine most of the people he is saying that stuff to see through it. Something similar happened to me in college and the lady trashed me to her friends. None of them believed her and couldn't figure out what her problem was. Some ladies who knew her who she told the BS to, must've thought I was some sort of stud for pissing her off even though I didn't do anything. Those ladies had a lustful eye on me. Too funny.

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  • Why do you continue to care what your ex does? Move on.

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    • honestly do you think before you reply or? if i tell someone i love them, my feelings will be there. especially considering he is my first love.

    • Then stop complaining it get back together.

  • Are you 100% positive? Sometimes we aren't even aware of our actions in a relationship. Did he clarify why he broke up with you?

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    • Trust me, when I say I didn't do anything to him, I didn't. I would own up to my mistakes. His reasoning for breaking up was that I fell too fast, but he said he loved me first? He slowly started ignoring me until I forced him to tell me whats going on, he just didn't want to be with me anymore.

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    • When ex's come back, it's cause they miss you & they probably aren't getting any from anyone else. So they assume you're the next best thing. And also will be easy to get sex from since you have already done it with them

    • Ex's are ex's for a reason. And honestly if two people break up. If one person is saying bad shit about the other. It's best if the victim keeps to themselves.

      Cause it makes the other person look like the problem

  • He isn't over you and he's taking the worst possible way out to show it.

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  • narcissists behavior. Many people are like that, they love drama and are asshurt. I had that happen to me but on a larger scale.

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  • If he is still talking about you then you are still in his mind. Maybe he's haunted. Maybe he has his own demons to deal with. Regardless, not your fault. If he didn't care about you then he wouldn't think about you at all.

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  • He still likes you, so it hurts him knows by that he isn't with you.

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  • maybe he's upset that your not upset.

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  • Maybe you hurt him a lot without realizing it

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    • How could have possibly hurt him when he broke up with me. He’s the one who switched up on me, ignoring anything I should be the one who’s so angry.

    • Maybe he hurt you without realizing it

  • he's still mad lol

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  • You guys are young, he's just being immature, he'll get over it

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  • I don't know, but my ex did the same thing to me, and I confronted her and asked her why she did that, and we talked and she stopped, I don't know if this helpful in any way, but I hope he stops.

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  • Probably blame you for the time lost or an opportunity he missed when you were together. The only other option is that he's still into you.

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  • Personality disorder

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  • Still loving u

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  • why do you continue to try to be friends with an ex. that's just stupid

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What Girls Said 12

  • He talks badly about you because he is immature and not healthy mentally. He doesn't know how to move on or deal with the regret of his actions, but he's too prideful to admit it. He misses you and the relationship you had, but doesn't respect you enough to fix it

    I immediately broke up with my ex when I found out he cheated on me yet he called me all kinds of names and was extremely rude to me about it. Two months later I found out he still hadn't told anybody I dumped him and that he was still acting like we were together. He's lost weight, hasn't been sleeping, and looks like shit. I ran into him last night and he was trying to make me jealous by bringing a new girl with him to the club I go to (he used to work there, but quit when I dumped him) and she is much less attractive than me. Poor girl is a rebound and he was too busy staring at me all night to pay any attention to her. Then he had the nerve to intentionally bump into me on the way out

    Guys who are too immature to admit they messed up a relationship with you will try to blame you and take out their emotional pain and regret on you

    The best thing is for you to move on. He's not worth your time and he's only going to cause more drama and problems in your life if you try to keep him around. Prove that you're better than him by moving on with your life and finding someone who will treat you respectfully rather than talking bad about you

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  • Sometimes you don't get to see a persons true character until after you breakup with them. He seems very immature

    Some people jump to assumptions , overthink and become paranoid. Their thinking can become totally irrational , so his behaviour may be an outward manifestation of hurt and anger for something he's imagined.

    Ignore his behaviour. If you give an emotional reaction or response to his behaviour then it'll fuel him even more , and he'll continue to talk shit about you. When he realizes you've moved on and his behaviour doesn't faze you'll, he get bored and stop

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  • Bitterness. Often times boys (or girls) don't know how to interact with exes. So they unfortunately revert to their younger adolescent selves. I suggest you just take the high road and be cordial, polite and friend-ly.
    I'm curious though, how did the break up occur if you had nothing to do with or?

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    • he broke up with me. he never gave me a solid answer when i asked him why he wanted to break up.

    • You deserve someone more mature than him. Be thankful you're not together and just be nice when you see him just not flirty nice.

  • Well... he's an ass. Some people do this to give their egos a boost... at the expense of the other person. If you need to confront him about it, but best if you can to just move on and forget him.

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  • Are you the one who left him? Breaking his heart is probably pretty terrible in his book.

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  • If you really haven't done anything... maybe he's still hurt.
    Or he just wants to make your life a living hell...
    Only you can know for sure - since only you know everything that went on there.

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  • Provided you totally didn't do anything wrong I think for some people it's easier to get angry at and blame others rather than admit their faults. Also a lot of guys (no offense!) tend to be in a delay when it comes to dealing with their emotions after a breakup. Us girls tend to go through them right away and then move on. Guys try to move on right away and then it hits them down the road.

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  • he doesn't want any guy to hit on you... he seems immature

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  • What you need to do is sit him down and ask him what the matter is in a mature way. Don't yell or show any sign of emotions no matter how much you want to. Be calm. Tell him that you need closure and clarify the reason of him breaking up with you. Tell him you did nothing wrong and if he insists on saying you did then realise he isn't mature enough. I think you shouldn't get back with the guy even if you want to cause he seems like an immature human to spread stuff about you.

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  • He talks about you because he may still like you. I don't know what to do to get him to stop but try your best not to let him get under your skin.

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  • He’s just upset. Leave him alone and he’ll burn out eventually.

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  • Because he's not over you.

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