How long does it take to stop loving her?

She dumped me months ago, and we only dated for months, but I love her just as much as ever. I send her messages, but she ignores them.

How do I forget about her? I can't get her out of my head. If I can't have her, then I just want to move on already!!


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What Girls Said 1

  • it takes so long


What Guys Said 2

  • If this is the same girl you've been asking about, I'll tell you the same thing that many others have told you. There is no set time. It has more to do with the choices that people make than anything. By messaging this girl and expecting her to reply, you are making a very poor choice.

    Now that that's out of the way, let me clarify something for you. Based on what I'd read in your previous questions, you were NOT in a relationship with this girl. You did not date her. In fact, you didn't even "date" her. You had a silly internet fling with a teenage girl who was already in a relationship with another guy and that involved the two of you exchanging nude photos and having "dirty talk" each other, all the while claiming to be "devout Catholics". Said fling ended with you saying incredibly wretched and vile things about her boyfriend, threatening to publish her nude photos online (which, for your information, is child pornography, because YOU YOURSELF said that she was 17 years old; I hope, for your sake, that you have gone to Confession for this and deleted the photos), and then asking the internet what they thought of these things; *taps fingers on desk*. Read through everything I've just written and you tell me ONE THING that can be objectively described as "love".

    She did not love you. YOU did not love her; you still don't. You were using each other.

    By the way, I'll give you the same answer here that I would give to your other questions. There's no set time for how long it takes to fall in love. Again, choices.

    I tore into you once, you thanked me for my "brutal honesty", and then a few days later..."should I post her nudes online?" Now, I don't say these things to beat you up or to make you feel bad about yourself. I say them because I want you to understand the harm that you are causing yourself. I want you to understand the poisonous kind of thinking that is going through your mind, but I don't know how much clearer I can be.

    For the last time, choices. Based on what I've said here, what kind of choices do you think you've made and do you think these choices would be attractive to women if you continued making them?

    • I definitely loved her, and I don't see what i supposedly did wrong here.

    • Show All
    • I do see a problem with it. That's why I deleted her photos two months ago and didn't do it. That love turned into feelings of intense betrayal and rage, and I deleted them so that I didn't do anything stupid.

    • Okay. What about HAVING them in the first place? The things you said about her? The things you said about her boyfriend?

  • Stop sending her messages. Let her go.

    Yes it takes time to move on but the choice is ultimately yours to make, it is a conscious decision. Realize that it is over and stop thinking in your past. If you think in your past you can't live in the present right now!

    Cheers man, I know it hurts, but you have to let her go and live your own life.


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