Pardon the bad grammar below, trying to keep w/in my character limit was hard. Live in boyfriend (BF) wants me to chose him or the dog, what do I do?

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Break Up & Divorce

boyfriend & I’ve been 2gether 18 months, lived 2gether since April. It was great until I got a dog. He has a cat & I don't like cats. I knew he loved his cat & I've never asked him to give her up. When we moved in I told him he needed to take care of anything cat related, but of course I feed her, buy her toys & clean her puke. I've been depressed & desperate for a dog. boyfriend agreed I could get a dog if it got along with his cat, didn't bark & didn't wake him. I found a dog at a shelter. I took boyfriend to meet the dog & boyfriend liked him. I took the dog home to see if he could get along with the cat & he did! No barking! The problem? When I leave for work the dog whined for a min. boyfriend is a light sleeper & said even 1 min of whining wakes him & is a deal breaker so I had to get rid of the dog. I begged him to give me more time to train the dog. I've been training the dog daily & now boyfriend said the dog no longer whines when I leave. Problem solved right? WRONG! boyfriend said that when I leave the dog cuddles next to him, that wakes him. I offered to shut the bedroom door & keep him in the living room. boyfriend said that wouldn’t work b/c the dog would cry to come in the room. I've asked my work to allow me to bring the dog to work. I've put myself on a list with my apt to get a garage so I can put the dog there for 3 hours until boyfriend wakes up & can get him. Meanwhile boyfriend has threatened to leave me several times. He has called me names & said, "You're a f**king idiot for getting a dog & my Dad agrees!" He's making life hell, despite the dog being almost perfect. I got the silent treatment last night, despite the fact that I’m looking for alternatives after I go to work. It has only been 3 weeks but I LOVE this dog. The thought of giving him back breaks my heart. I love boyfriend as well & we had no problems before the dog. I need advice on ways to either ease the tension or suggestions on how to train the dog more. Also if he gives me a real ultimatum what do I do? Losing either would be devastating. Pardon the bad grammar below, trying to keep w/in my character limit was hard. Live in boyfriend (BF) wants me to chose him or the dog, what do I do?

Pardon the bad grammar below, trying to keep w/in my character limit was hard. Live in boyfriend (BF) wants me to chose him or the dog, what do I do?

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Pardon the bad grammar below, trying to keep w/in my character limit was hard. Live in boyfriend (BF) wants me to chose him or the dog, what do I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

Sora3744

Just... Just ditch him. If he can't respect his part of the bargain about a dog, I wouldn't expect him to do so with people.
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THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
- Miszfesha
  
  It is hard because I understand he is a light sleeper and one of the conditions was that the dog couldn't disturb his sleep, which the dog does most mornings. I just have a hard time because for most people a dog cuddling you in the morning, wouldn't be a "deal breaker." It is actually going far better than I thought it would, the dog's behavior when I leave that is.
  
  Reply
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- Sora3744
  
  Maybe it is because your boyfriend doesn't try to get along with your dog. I feel like he's trying to reject him. I may be wrong, I don't see him with the dog after all but... If he tried to be okay with him and accept that he can get used to all of that, it's be easier.
  
  Anyway, you can't just tell someone to choose between you and your dog, when you already did the effort to get along with the cat you're not fond of.
  
  Reply
- Miszfesha
  
  I feel the same way. I feel like he is trying to not like the dog. I've caught him playing with the dog and giving him kisses, but then he'll turn around and say he hates the dog because the dog is taking attention away from his cat. My response, "well then give me my dog and start playing with your cat." I do think he's upset the dog is there at all and even though he kind of likes him, he's trying to stop himself from liking him so he can keep hating him for disturbing his sleep.
  Thanks for seeing that side. I hate how his cat meows for hours without stopping, yet I've never kicked her out of our room? It just feels like a double standard and it hurts when he threatens to leave me over it.
  
  Reply
- Sora3744
  
  Now I feel he acts in a childish way by not being ok with showing you he actually likes the dog.
  
  Maybe you should show him how it is to be like that but with is cat?
  Maybe not actually, that also is a childish act haha
  
  Reply
- Miszfesha
  
  I've thought of plenty of ways to be petty, I just always stop myself and try to be mature about it. We do have an age gap, but a small one and I don't think him being 25 should be an excuse to be childish.
  
  Reply
- Sora3744
  
  Obviously yeah.
  I don't think there is any miracle option for that, the best thing to do is always to talk about it, but it's pretty hard to get the right conditions.
  
  Reply

Most Helpful Girl

dragonfly6516

This is a sneak peek at how he will deal with kids, and how he handles still situations where things don't go his way. Sounds like a classic control freak in the making.
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THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
- Miszfesha
  
  Sadly I think it is. He is very particular when it comes to his sleep, everything else he's flexible on.
  
  Reply

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What Guys Said 3

Dire-Phoenix

Seems like he is being cranky and inpatient all there is to it
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- Miszfesha
  
  He definitely is and that's the struggle. In two weeks I got the dog to not whine when I leave, any dog owners would know that is amazing! Yet he is still treating me horribly because I can't make the dog stop cuddling him in a week. Any advice on how to convince him to give me more time to train a dog?
  
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Gracefulhippo

Ditch him. Seriously. Dog is great.
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- Miszfesha
  
  I LOVE my dog! I don't think I could give him up. He's too perfect.
  
  Reply
reptocarl

Tell boyfriend to pack his bags
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What Girls Said 3

MercySoleil

Boyfriend needs training.. you won't regret choosing the dog.
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- Miszfesha
  
  If only he was as easy to train as the dog! lol
  
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hiotw

Choose the dog x
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Mayama

Your dog pls
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Home > Break Up & Divorce > Pardon the bad grammar below, trying to keep w/in my character limit was hard. Live in boyfriend (BF) wants me to chose him or the dog, what do I do?

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