I feel bad for putting my boyfriend through my phobia. Should I let him go?

I've struggled with a phobia my entire life. It obviously causes a lot of anxiety and it causes a lot of issues between me and my boyfriend. I've done a lot of therapy to try and conquer it but to no avail so far. My boyfriend is so supportive and so patient but I feel how it's taking a toll on him as well. We've been together for 5 years and I love him more than anyone else in the world, but I feel bad for being his girlfriend. My phobia might keep me from ever giving him children too which is something I know he really wants. It keeps me from going out and being social a lot too. I feel like he deserves so much better than this. He says he wants to be with me and that he'd never leave me but I feel so selfish for keeping him in a relationship with me and putting him through all of this that I'm considering leaving him so that he can live the life he deserves. Even if it means I lose him forever. What would you do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • If he said he wants to be with you, knowing your phobia and what you go through, supporting you for the past 5 years, why would you want to ruin that? His love towards you means more than what the world has to offer from meaningless fun. Thank him for being there through the tough times, show him appreciation. From the sounds of it, he's a keeper. Hard to find these days

    • I feel like I am already ruining it. I feel like he would be happier without me. I know he's been supportive and I'm so grateful for that. But what if that is just him being the great and caring guy I know he is and that he's just too afraid to leave me now when I need him? I just want him to be happy.

  • I would
    1 accept myself fully
    2 ask where to get a really good therapist
    3 work hard and expose myself to anxietycreating situations regularly
    4 involve my girlfriend in therapy

    • Thank you for your reply. It's not easy to accept oneself when you feel like you're the reason for all of the issues and struggles in the relationship. I'm afraid that he's not being honest with me because if he left me now it would kind of be like kicking someone who's lying down. I know I'm too insecure but tbh I'm not sure I could live with me if I was him.

    • Your welcome - just ask the girls what helps them accept themselves...

What Girls Said 1

  • He's with you for a reason don't go assuming his feelings and making rash decisions. If all you want is to leave don't use him as an excuse or justification to leave.

    • Don't assume I'm using him as an excuse to leave. If I wanted to leave him I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of asking this question. Seriously, this isn't a place for people to be judgmental and assumptuous. If you're not trying to be helpful then please just move on and stay in your lane.

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