He says he needs to work on himself?

I've become extremely intimate with a man after both have had terrible relationships that ended the same way. Not intimate in the sense that we've gotten too physical, because we both want to take it slow. But intimate in that he is everything I could ever want in a person, and he matches every single one of the things I thought only could be reached in my dreams. He's told me that he loves me, and that he's never met anyone who he is more attracted to, both physically and mentally. However, we've been a very private thing because that's how we've felt it should be for right now with the circumstances surrounding us. When talking about commitment, he told me that he has a lot of work to do. He wants to be the boyfriend that I deserve, but does not feel he is at this moment. I can't see myself being married right now, and we both agreed to staying friends and working on ourselves. He said that his feelings have not changed, he just didn't see this coming and is why he's confused. Right now, I feel it's my job to give him the space he needs and work on myself as well.

My question is, do you think he's sincere? Or do you think this is a cop-out for him to "have fun" with other women?


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is a flat out rejection but making you think he’ll want you at some point in the future which will never happen. It makes you think he’s sincere so you’ll fuck him. NEVER WAIT! He wants you or he doesn’t. Any other answer but a firm yes is a no. Move on

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  • Well he could just need a break from the intimacy, but this sounds similar to my breakup
    She was "unsure" of how she felt, and so we took some time apart, and never got back together after that
    She took some time to think about her feelings and realized she doesn't love me anymore, then broke things off
    You could be in a similar situation here

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