Justified in throwing cold water in her face?

I'm sorry to have to ask anonymously. This girl I dated for years treated me with a lot of contempt, (yes, I know I have my own issues for allowing that for so long) cheated on me towards the end, and broke up with me in an extremely disrespectful way, leaving me a bloody wreck of a human being. Basically used and abused me. I'm healing now, but you can imagine that I've been having to deal with an unreal amount of indignance and anger over how I was treated. I haven't tried to express my anger to her (she'd only show more contempt anyway) or take any sort of revenge, although God knows I've wanted to. I never would, except that it's very likely that I'll see her again, sooner or later - plenty of mutual friends. We'll be at the same party or get-together eventually. I've wondered how I'll react when that happens. What I hope I'll have the guts to do is throw a glass of cold water in her face and leave. Don't know if I'd say anything. The question is; is that totally wrong of me? God knows she deserves much worse than that. I don't know if throwing water on someone is legally assault - so obviously in that case I couldn't, and would have to come up with words to say that would have the same effect. Would you do this if you were me? If you were my friend, would you realize she must deserve it, or look down on me for having done something stupid?

(I anticipate that someone will say that I should just ignore her when I see her, and just act like she isn't there. I've thought about that a lot, and I can't do it. I really can't. It's either do something/say something, or just plain leave. And I don't want to leave, either.)


Most Helpful Girl

  • If I was your friend and knew exactly what she did to you I would join you but throwing the whole table but we have to face the reality this would not make you feel better because this isn't the best form of revenge. what you should do and that is the best form of revenge be a hunk that girls cannot stop looking at. I mean talk the talk and walk the walk. In other works not just the physical app are acne but the personality and the sharpness in your tongue that would say you are a loser for not being able to keep this hunk in your arms because now I got them girl gawking at my awesomeness. that my friend is the best satisfaction you can ever have from a narcissist. cause god knows and sees everything and you will meet the love of your life soon but you got to get through some painful stuff first like her and getting over her.

    • I really like this, Candie, and thank you. Problem is that I know her too well, and if I started dating someone else, or even just looked like I was doing great, she would be relieved - she wouldn't need to even feel any guilt anymore about what she's done! (Um, try saying you're sorry if you feel guilty? Oh, no - she'd rather rationalize away what she does so that she doesn't have to feel badly about it.)

Most Helpful Guy

  • I posted somewhere else but I'll tell you my wife came to me told me she wanted to divorce basically took and sent it to get a lawyer got me kicked out of my own house with clothes on my back come to find out I was f****** my best friend of 25 years and now I am in the same emotional shell while they lived The Partridge Family Life in my house and drive my car and they with my kids first and foremost I'm a good father so no matter what demons I had grown in my head about her she's good to go. My friend on the other hand has serious concerns if I ever run into him in the near future before I have time to repair my soul. But I'll tell you what I did my wife has cheated on every person she's ever been with I tracked down nine of them she's cheated with and on last night a couple which she worked with and I put the in on a page told the entire story and we had a Jerry Springer bash moment on her last night that was pretty uplifting. Point is unlike you she thinks she got away with this scot-free I can get over most things but letting her get away with everybody thinking she's a good person that s*** ain't happening if anything I will destroy her integrity

    • I like it, @happymike1999. *No one* should be able to get away with this sh1t. My closest friends know what she did, and her integrity is destroyed with them, but that's only a few people, and they don't gossip. Friends that are not in the inner inner circle do not know she cheated and treated me with such contempt. So they'll go on being her friend, which is hard for me to see. Good for you, man, for being a good father, and putting your children before your own feelings. You're a good man. Keep it up - the world needs more men like you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • No, the best revenge is to live well. Find someone better and ignore her totally.

    • That's probably going to happen eventually, @melodicstacey, yes, but I'll probably see her somewhere before I eventually find someone better (that won't be hard). I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do in that situation before it actually happens, so I don't get blindsided and act out of pure emotion in the moment. I don't want to regret whatever I do - and if I just act emotionally when it happens, I probably will regret whatever I do or say.

What Guys Said 1

  • My only question to you as a friend is that would it make you feel any better, take away all your pain, heal you inside if you did what you wanted to do? If your answer is yes that's the magic pill, then do it. But if the answer is how can it remove all the damage she has done, then I'd say work on yourself. Learn to let go of the pain. Heal within.

    • Yeah, I understand your point, and it's good. There's just this huge part of me that wants justice - and trust me, I do wish I could let that go, am working on it, etc. but this damn bitch just should not be able to get away with what she has gotten away with! I honestly don't understand how the mutual friends would still be friends with her if they just knew.. but I would look petty for trying to expose her. Ugh.

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    • This is interesting to me, @vittle1999, so pardon me for the further questioning. Can you tell me why you would want to remain friends with someone who would treat someone so badly? Is that person really worth remaining friends with?

    • I welcome your further questioning. Friendship is between two people ( one on one). If the one on one is fine ( in Ur case the girl and Ur mutual friend and between Ur mutual friend and you) why would Ur mutual friend need to unfriend either one of you. Isn't friendship a personal choice? If on the other hand, she behaved the way with you to your mutual friend as well or showed similar attitude in her dealings with him, then it would give him reasons to reconsider friendship with her. But your point is if someone is that cruel ( in a particular circumstance) your friend should not be her friend. I think it's unreasonable to dictate friendships. I'm talking from the view of " not hurt" person. You are in the hurt person view. So looking at same situation from different view points.

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