He isn't ready for a relationship. What do I do?

I started dating this guy 2 months ago. He had gotten out of a 3 year relationship about a month before that. She really hurt him but he told me he was ready to move forward. Fast forward to last week, he tells me he isn't ready for a relationship and that it all caught up to him. He said it's not fair to me and doesn't wanna lead me on. He said he needs to be okay with being alone and heal from the hurt in his heart and hopefully when that time comes we can be together. He told me he doesn't expect me to stick around but he'd appreciate it if I do. I'm giving him space because I know that's what he needs and I hope that in time if we are meant to be we will be. It's just hard I want to talk to him but I know I need to give him space. I have days where I feel good and days were I don't feel good. Any advice? Opinions on this? I'm open to hearing them because I'm a bit all over the place emotionally at the moment.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He's telling you that he doesn't care enough about you to be a partner in a relationship, but if you are willing to give to him while getting nothing back, he's up for that. If you just enjoy his company, and don't care if there's any long-term future, keep seeing him.

    by the way, "Not ready for a relationship" often means "Not ready for a relationship with you".

    • Thank you for replying. He's never made me feel like he's a guy that doesn't care. I guess that's why I want to see the good in him. He keeps saying he can't wait to be done with this process of healing so that we can possibly be together again if I'm still around. I hate that I wasn't allowed to see where this could go and that it's not in my control. I texted him a positive quotes yesterday just to be nice and I got no reply which kind of hurt because I've been trying to be there this whole time but I guess I have to take a step back.

  • I understand what he's talking about he jumped into that relationship too fast so give him a space if it's meant to be they will come to you I have had my heart broke ripped out for deaf and shredded and it has taken me awhile to get over it it isn't fair to the other person to have to go through what he's going through because 9 times out of 10 he would take it out on you so please give him a space he will come to you just be patient I know it's hard to do but I have faith in you

    • Thank you so much. Yes I wanna give him space and hopefully he'll come back. I'm praying he does

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    • Thank you I definitely will

    • Do you think if he doesn't text me and I text him tomorrow night that it will be bad to do? Is that me being push and not giving space? I was gonna say " hope you're doing well" I don't know

  • I think he's right to out of relationship for now, he got out of 3 years relationship that's a lot of time. There's a lot of memories from the last relationship and it will take time for him to heal and move past it, I really understand the guy as I have just recently got out of a relationship and right now I won't get into another relationship no matter how beautiful the girl is. If you can wait for him fine, but I wouldn't advice you to wait just keep on going and you'll probably meet another guy better than him. Goodluck)


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