We had had been together a month and we decided to have waited (these days everyone seems to sleep with each other on the first week so a month is considered waiting) and we spoke about it and were excited. We had an argument one week and I was upset with him and he decided to book a hotel for us on that week to make it special, I wasn't happy, we had been arguing all week. But I went anyway, he took me to a restaurant, and it was a really high end hotel and we did sleep together that night but not as much as I expected for our first time together. Then in the morning we both woke up and he just said "let's get ready" and jumped out of bed and didn't come out of the bathroom for 15 minutes. Then left me in the room to get ready while he went swimming in the pool. We went down for breakfast, came back up and he just said ok should we check out? Two hours before check out. And then we just went home and said goodbye to each other.
I tried to talk to him about it and he said he just didn't want to, but he had gone on about how excited he is and how he can't wait and how into it he is for weeks beforehand only for barely anything to happen and now we have broken up this is the only thing still upsetting me about it all. I refused to stay over at his two weeks after because I hated it last time. I want to move on from this relationship but I can honestly cry at any time just thinking of how undesirable I felt with something that meant so much to me and something we had talked about for ages.
Did I just get used? Or am I overreacting? I don't even know how to get over it but it's affecting my healing process because that's my last memory of him and I can't talk to him about how I feel any more