I thought in the beginning she was just using me as a rebound or someone to make her feel better but she's told me she really likes me. Now her ex is starting to talk to her again.

I met this girl this summer whose amazing. We really hit it off and we both felt like we connected. I'm not the most sensitive guy and I'm careful when it comes to relationships. We've met a couple of times since we met and she's told me she thinks I'm really cute and sweet and I've told her the same. Her family and friends really like me too and have been saying stuff like oh he's cuter than her ex. Now the only problem is that when I met her her ex recently broke up with her and she didn't know why he did. I could tell it was really hard on her and I never said much about him or asked about him but she would mention him a couple of times. Now I usually play things smart and normally I would've avoided this situation because she's carrying some baggage, but I've never met a girl like this and I've never felt this way about someone in a long time. I thought in the beginning she was just using me as a rebound or someone to make her feel better but she's told me she really likes me. Now her ex is starting to talk to her again. I haven't said anything to her about it and she says she thought it was a good thing at first but then she doesn't know now. I don't know what to do. I have a bad feeling about this because she likes me and could like her ex still also. So far I've been playing it cool. Giving her space and stuff and not asking or talking about it. My question is whether to not acknowledge it and keep playing it cool or confront her about it and see who she has feelings for the most. I know if I confront her it will bother her and put a lot of stress on her and making me out to be the bad guy, but I'm not gonna let this situation affect me and I'm going to stand my ground. I can't be mad at her either because we aren't necessarily dating yet, but I know for sure she sees me as more than a friend. Although the way I'm acting now and the way I see the situation unfolding I can see us as becoming friends with benefits. What should I do though? Confront her or pretend like it doesn't phase me and be confident?

Updates:
I'm thinking about saying hey if you want space to be with him and think things out I'll stop talking to you, but if things don't work out well you have my # and if I'm available then we can work something out. I feel like if I do this I'm being a coward
And that I'm letting him walk over me

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't confront her, but you should probably make a comment on it. Start out with "You know how much I like you, right?" or "I like you so much more, then he does." or something. Let her know you'll wait till she's ready (will you?).

    Make sure she knows how you ---feel---. And let her know you will NOT be her safety, backup, or someone used for self esteem revival. You will be her boyfriend, or you will be nothing.

    Confront brings to mind a fight, which could have her running straight towards him (depending on what kind of girl she is).

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    • And by nothing, I mean romantically. Friend ship is still o.k. haha.

    • Yeah yeah I really want to approach this cautiously because like you said she's gonna go straight for him. Trust me even though I've known this girl for a couple of months I know she wouldn't just use me like that and I know how she feels about me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well. you should talk with her about it. I think. The more you express your feelings about the whole situation the more she may too. Because with me..when my boyfriend needs to speak with me about something it shows me a lot that when he talks with me about his feelings you know. Also speaking with her will give you an understanding a little bit more with this situation. Don`t like make a huge deal about it..but just speak about like the feelings you have been feeling lately. do not do the its me or him cause than shell get extremely stressed. Lets things just happen- hope everything works out for the best

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  • confront her but do it casually. don't give her ultimatums like its me or him but give her a little to think about. hope this helped

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    • Yeah that's exactly what I wanted to do and not get her all stressed out cause then she would look at me as the bad guy in this dilemma. But how should I go about confronting her like this?

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    • Then tell her you like her but don't bring her ex into it

    • Alright yeah thanks for the help

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