Should I stay or should I go?

So here's the deal, my wife is 8 months pregnant but I'm incredibly unhappy in our relationship. This is not a sudden thing neither.
I'm not going to publicly degrade her by bringing up her faults, but lets just say that the compatability just is no longer there.
We dated, got engaged and married after a whirlwind courtship of roughly 5 months (3 of which I was overseas for work). At the time I had just come out of a fairly long term relationship and I guess it was a combination of not wanting to be alone, having a rebound and lust that guided my decision to propose and for us to get hitched.
She had two kids already and I have taken them on as my own (which makes this harder cause I love the little buggers), but coming from a broken home myself I know that having two happy homes is better than one that suffers.
I've tried making it work between us. Counseling, mediation, spoken with my chaplain, you name it. But she still doesn't get it. I need a partner, an equal, a yin to my yang... what I don't need is a subordinate, someone who just doesn't seem to get it... if that makes sense.
The communication is gone between us and it's just arguments now that fill the voids between the bitter silence.
I need to know if this is the right time to leave, or do I stick it out and hope for the best? and, how do I go about it if I should go? Me being in the military means that she'll lose the house, me, I'll be fine, but soon I'll have a baby of my own to worry about and being a bloke with depression and PTSD, well this puts me in an awkward position.
Has anyone been through a similar situation?
Any guidance would be really helpful.
Thanks GaG community for your help.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • wait till the baby borns

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you leave before the baby is born, you will be blamed and accused of being a SOB. Wait until at least a few months after the baby is born.

    One person cannot make a marriage work. If she is not motivated to work on the marriage, she is giving you no alternative.

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    • Cheers for your response mate, I'll take that on board. I guess with a baby coming I can put my focus and energy on that until later on

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Besides that every female during pregnancy is a different pain in ass, I would say that in next year won't be lot of positive changes. I can't tell you leave or stay. I won't take moral blame for neither results. But if you stay be prepared for hell of a year, tho afterwards everything can work out perfectly or not at all. I also think it will be inhumane to leave her right now with your kid, let her at least stand up after birthgiving

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    • Thanks for your response mate, I'm taking all feedback into account. I wouldn't leave simply because someone told me to online, I'm simply seeking opinions and if things do go south in the end nothing would be on your shoulders.

    • Honestly it's like with everything in your life, or you fight to the end of you give it up. My wife sucked ally blood out when she was pregnant. And first year was a nightmare. Now she is just an angel again and everything is good. Even if it could went different direction.

  • I think first and foremost, take care of yourself first. Talk to a doctor, get on meds for your depression. You can't possibly make rational decisions if you are not right in the head. Now about staying or leaving, I would say stay and make your child the center of your life. You can't change your wife, she is who she is. Is she a good person? Is she loving towards you? Is she loyal? Is she a good mother? If the answer is yes to these questions, then I think you at least have something to work with. I'm not putting fault on you, but maybe just accepting her as is or maybe changing your expectations of her will change things between the both of you. What is it exactly that she doesn't get?

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